Well, as you know, I have been part of a fan group supporting the movie SERENITY. I must say, the guerrilla marketing for this film has been amazing. I never felt like I made a difference in things like elections, but doing things like this, it makes me feel like I finally am! The millions of fans have done tons of things to help promote the film. Universal Studios, the company behind SERENITY, has been helpful as well. Sending us swag like t-shirts, buttons, bandannas, etc. to help pass out and promote.
Yesterday, the New York City Browncoats (local fan group appx. 200 strong and counting!), decided to meet at THE TODAY SHOW and stand in the crowd with signs and stuff to help promote the Big Damn opening of the movie on September 30th. (That's today, bitches!) About a dozen of us showed up at 5:45 a.m. wearing our t-shirts and bearing signs, buttons, and fliers. We strategically spread out so we could be seen anywhere in the crowd. (Great idea, Josie!) I went straight ahead to a spot near the front where there were some electronics set up. This probably meant a segment was being taped there, so I would be seen! I had my CAN'T STOP THE SIGNAL sign in tow. We had Browncoats strewn out about every 20th person or so. It was cool to look around and see us all. Then, we waited for the show to start. It quickly got crowded. I was stuck between a bevy of beautiful babes from Ball State University and some old southern belles from Kentucky. Guess which group I decided to hang out with? That's right. The old ladies. Hey, they could knit me a quilt and bake me cookies! Of course, I really hung out with the Ball St. girls and eventually showed them the state of my balls.....ouch. Man, that was pretty low brow even for me. Okay, not really.
The show started and we anxiously awaited for camera pans of the crowd. And waited. And waited. Waited some more. I suggested playing "Spin the bottle" with the Ball St. girls and they happily obliged. I love sorority girls. Drunk with passion. Girls gone wild, indeed! So, after a request from the old southern ladies to join in, which...not bad kissers by the by, one of our fan group leaders, Josie, came over and gave me the scoop. Apparently, they pan the crowd at certain times. 8:45 and 9:45. I looked at my watch. It was 8:00 a.m. The girls and I went back to making out.
A woman from NBC started coming around and asking if we wanted to ask relationship questions for some therapist that would be on next week. One topic was about breakups and the other was debunking myths. (Like, does sex end after marriage, etc.) It wasn't guaranteed air time, but it was a solo spot. I asked her for her number and she insisted that had nothing to do with what she was talking about. What a bitch. After she left, I thought about pretending I was one of the characters from the movie to help promote. Something like this:
Hi, my name is Dr. Simon Tam. My girlfriend's name is Kaylee. She's a tomboy and REALLY into engines and dirt. Especially battery run things twixt her nethers. I'm pretty meticulous and meticulously pretty. Obviously, very opposite. Do opposites really attract? Oh, and how do I get my sister to stop watching us when we co-mingle?
What's up! My name is Joss and my girlfriend's name is Serenity. No, she's not a dancer with that name. Well, she was until I made her quit. Anyway, we've been together off and on over the past 3 years and let's just say....she's carried quite a few passengers. Know what I'm saying? So, how do I get her to stop flying around so much? We don't always get along and she said she threatened to get to as many people as she could on September 30th. What the hell does that mean?
Name's Jayne. Yeah, that's right. I'm a man named Jayne. I'll gut ya if you make fun of me. My question is...well, I spend a lot of time in my bunk. I'm rarely with a woman lest I pay for it or kidnap her. My only steady girl is Vera and she's my gun. I see a purty girl and I want to go to my bunk and....think on it. Which, by the way, you're sure pretty. Wanna come back to my bunk? No? Well, that's where you'll find me. Gorram it!
But, alas, I thought of that too late. That's okay. I think it would have creeped out the Ball St. girls. They're so sensitive there. 8:45 rolled around and no pan of the crowd. Finally, around 9:30, it looked like they were setting up for a segment with the electronics near where I was standing. At about 9:45, they did indeed start shooting. It was the opposite side from where I was. All good though. Josie and another fellow Browncoat, Michael, were quite visible in the background in their SERENITY t-shirts and holding up their signs. Eventually, they came around to my side and you could see me waving my sign around. If you didn't know me, you wouldn't know it was me. It was only for seconds. But, I made it on!
Afterwards, we quickly dispersed and went on back home. I took a few of the Ball St. girls with me and promised to "chaperone" them. After they pepper sprayed me and my vision returned, I met up with my fellow Browncoats. Even though we didn't get a lot of air time, we felt we did our little push to help. As we all have been all over the world. To quote one of our Big Damn Heroes, Captain Malcolm Reynolds, "We have done the impossible, and that makes us mighty."
SERENITY opens today, people. Go see it. And after you go see it. Spread the word and go see it again. It has gotten great reviews from The New York Times, The Village Voice, Ain't It Cool News, etc. Not those stupid positive reviews from places you've never heard of like, "Best film of the year!"-Joey Nobody, Texarkana Small Press. "I loved every minute!"-Missy Mundane, The Guamese Gazette. "Me likey"- Asia Stereotype, General Tso's Daily News, etc. Nothing like that! Real big papers and real big reviewers are digging it. Not that I ever listen to them, but they get the press, cuz, well they are the press.
And the best endorsement of all has to be from me. I mean, come on. Someone as brilliant and clever and smart and pretty and modest as me liking it? It must be something special!
Let me know what ya think after you see it. Or let me know if you want me to accompany you to a screening. I know it can be scary going to movies you don't know much about. I'm here for you. Me and my Ball St. girls are here for you. Call us.