Cleaning Out the Facebook Messages

Facebook has given a new look to their "messages" section and even is trying to encourage people to have their own Facebook email. Whatevs. I gots enough! But, I started deleting all of these old messages that I didn't even realize where there any more. Things I learned:

• Some friends are no longer on Facebook. 
• Some have dropped me or vice/versa.
• I had almost forgotten about the never got anywhere in the first place sketch group that I was a part of (Random Souffle) a couple of years back.
• Some celeb acquaintances seemingly dropped me I'm guessing because of what I bitched about last year when I started dropping people. They probably got too many requests from people they didn't know and my name popped up as "mutual friend". Thanks, fuckers! (Or maybe they just didn't want me on there as a friend). 

I briefed through a few of the messages. Found some gems:

1. One from a couple of years ago that still makes me laugh. Someone was putting together a comic anthology and knew that I knew a superstar comic book artist. And, of course, asked me to ask them work on the anthology. Seriously. Hahaha. 1). Said superstar artist wouldn't just arbitrarily do it for free for someone they didn't know. 2). Said artist is probably way too busy. Ergo why they are superstar status. 3). The arrogance of the unknown person to assume said artist would even consider it. Not saying artist is too good for it, but come on. And then I replied nicely to them all of the above (except the last one). So, instead of giving me a mea culpa and saying, "My bad. I should have thought about that one better". Replies with something like, "Oh, I found someone else. They've done stuff for Marvel". Well, good on you. But that person (as I found out) was nowhere near the status of my friend but this guy asking acted like they were on the same par. Think Quentin Tarantino being compared to a good director of a documentary. Sure, they're both good directors but they are miles apart in success/talent. 
2. Stripper girl I kinda dated tersely emailed me that she was basically crossing me out of her life but without any explanation. It wasn't in a mean way but just very brief and kind of cold. I was fine with it as I had seen her once and talked to her maybe twice in about 2 years. But asked her why and she just said she wanted to move on in her life. Wow. Talk about taking time to let go. Ha! 
3. Another person who tried to get at a well known friend through me (boy, I sure do love that) got upset that I wasn't relaying messages to said well known friend. Hahaha. Get a life, ya creeps! 
4. I had emailed this girl I went out with a couple of times via real email calling her out on her attitude last time we were out. (I was actually in the right. I'd admit if I wasn't. I swear!). She didn't reply. So, I hit her up on FB to see what was up and suggested she must not have agreed with me over the subject to which she tersely replied, "I'll reply". Hahaha. She's now my baby mama. ;) 
5. Of course, I LOVED seeing a bunch of messages where I sent out to people saying how I pimped their work (be it comics, TV, Film, etc) out on my podcast (COMIC NEWS INSIDER...keep up!) and then they never had the niceties to reply with a simple "Thanks". Oh, people. Selfishness is the new black. 

So many more I deleted that I couldn't even remember what we were talking about. I should probably do that with my Gmail inbox so it isn't as full. Now it's up to you. Go forth and clean out your message box! And let me know any fun back and forths you may have had. Especially if they involved me.