Strip Like It's the Last Night of the World

I'm scared. Today is our last day on earth. I picked this pamphlet up from a guy on the subway platform. Surely he wouldn't lie to me, would he? Well, it was nice knowing you all. If you want to hang on our last night on this earth, you know where to find me. 

NO! Not at Penthouse Club! I'll be spending my last day studying the good book and going over all of my good Catholic upbringing in hopes that...hahahahaha...I almost made it through that sentence. 

I'll be at Hustler Club consoling the girls. Come join me. They're giving out free lap dances in hopes that's enough to get them raptured. Who am I to stand in their way of eternal happiness?