Congress Declares Pizza (Sauce) A Vegetable!

As you've all no doubt heard by now, the U.S. Congress has declared pizza sauce (note: NOT pizza itself) a vegetable. Makes sense to me! See Mom? I've been eating healty for years now! With that logic, maybe we could make bourbon a vegetable too! I mean, it's made from at least 51% corn and has rye in there as well. While we're at it, let's go ahead and make jellybeans a fruit since they have all sorts of fruity flavors. And finally, put human flesh in the meat category. No reason zombies can't be nutritious as well.