So, this guy asks me if he can tell me a joke. I say, “Sure, if you want to.” He proceeds to tell me this joke.
Guy: “So, this really really drunk guy is at his friend’s house and comes out of the bathroom and says (at this point, the guy telling the joke attempts a bad drunk voice), ‘HEY! Do you have any green toilet paper that says have a nice day?’ The lady says, ‘What? No! Of course I don’t. Why would I have green toilet paper that says have a nice day?’ And then the drunk guys says, “Oh, then I just wiped my ass with your parrot.”
HAHAHAHAHAHHA. OH GOD I COULDN’T STOP LAUGHING! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I couldn’t. Stop. I couldn’t laugh. Stop it.
And while you’re at it, please stop repeating jokes you heard from a comedian. You’ll NEVER tell it the same way and it wont be funny.