Jimmy's Juke Joint

You are on the Global Frequency

There are a thousand and one people on the Global Frequency.

What is this Global Frequency you may ask?  Is it XM or Sirius satellite radio?  Hey, it's gonna have Howard Stern and a complete "Fuck the FCC" vibe!  What could be bad about that?

No, the Global Frequency is something far different.  And far more entertaining.  It started out as a 12 issue maxi-series comic book by Warren Ellis.  The genius behind such comic smashes as PLANETARY (illustrated by my good friend, John Cassasday), THE AUTHORITY and TRANSMETROPOLITAN, to name a few.  It was published through Wildstorm Comics, a division of DC COMICS.  A brief description, according to their site:

Miranda Zero, the mysterious leader/benefactor/recruiter of Global Frequency is a woman with a mission. She saves people. She and 1,000 others make up the most diverse team of specialists the planet has ever seen. Their job? To save the world, usually before anyone else notices there's a problem. From the streets of Los Angeles to the sewers below New York City, Global Frequency is always watching. There are 1,001 people on the Frequency — from 16-year-old computer experts to retired police detectives — and each one brings their own unique abilities to the GF table. Each mission is coordinated at GF central by Aleph, who dispatches the appropriate agents at the behest of Miranda Zero, founder and overseer of the Frequency. Together, all these pieces form one concise unit whose goal is simple: to save the day when all hope is lost!

I remember reading this comic when it first came out a couple of years back.  It read like a movie.  So, I wasn't suprised when I heard that the WB had picked it up to make a series.  The WB has had a grand history of TV productions like BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER, ANGEL, and SMALLVILLE.  SMALLVILLE, of course, is also based on a DC comic book character.  Basically, Superman as a teenager, if you haven't seen it.  I'm still waiting for the episode where he finds his dad's Playboy collection, succumbs to onanism (click on to learn, kids!), and ends up shooting a hole through the side of the house.  But, that's just me.  I'm a realist. And remember, this is also the network that airs that Christian drivel of a show, 7th HEAVEN.  Which I think has been on the air since the great flood. 

GLOBAL FREQUENCY, the TV show, was to begin it's initial 13 episode season sometime in the spring of '05 as a midseason replacement.  So, uh....what happened?  Did the powerful Ashton Kutcher's new reality show, BEAUTY & THE GEEK beat it up? Did Larry the Cable Guy of BLUE COLLAR TV turn down a cameo?  Did the 7th HEAVEN mormons, or whatever the hell they are, pray for it's demise? Who knows?  Well, I know!  Courtesy of Frequency Site. Click on the link to get more info.  Anyway, a pilot was shot and then promptly canned.  Apparently, it relied heavily on the Warren Ellis books as more than just inspiration.  As usual, they threw in some of their own stuff, but it still had the feel of the comic.  Global Frequency Org. gives a detailed description of the story. 

A pilot was shot.  Where the hell is it?  No one knew.  Until...

Bless the hackers out there.  Someone leaked a copy of it on the internet.  It has become one of the hottest downloads in the past couple of months. Of course, to download it would be illegal, boys and girls.  So when I say I have seen it and it fucking rocked, I am in no way admitting that I downloaded it.  Although there are plenty of sites out there to do it from like bit torrent, azureus, etc.  I only hear about these things because I want to know what to avoid.  Just like when I used to have napster and kazaa lite k+++ edition (the hackers version of kazaa which was forced off the internet after awhile).  I only had them to know what was so bad.  Not for downloading music. Even though the music industry is raping us nasally (yes, I said nasally...it'll hurt more!) and we are paying tons of $$$ for a lot of crap.  It's just like my large collection of liquor and porn in the house.  I just like having it around to remind me of the bad things I musn't partake in.  And for the record, that was NOT me found passed out drunk on top of a stack of Juggs magazines! (I wasn't drunk, I was just really tired and it wasn't Juggs, it was Black Tail.....I mean.....Time Magazine.)

Back to the show.  It. Kicked. Ass.  Who's running the WB now that they would cancel this without even airing the pilot? Probably the same people who greenlighted REBA or EVERWOOD. This is a unique show with tons of potential for growth and endless supplies of story lines.  Well, at least 1001.  (If you've been paying attention, that's how many people are on the Global Frequency.)  The "Global Frequency Org." link a few paragraphs ago, gives the full story behind the pilot, cast and the big names in the production crew.  Check it.

I'm telling you.  Find some way to see it.  If it somehow magically appears on your computer, then watch it.  It's only about 44 minutes of your life.  It's really amazing how this little pilot that could has gotten all of this buzz.  Who knows?  Maybe they'll try to resurrect it. 

Get the 2 trade paperbacks from amazon, Volume 1 and Volume 2, that collect the 12 issue series. You don't have to read the books to enjoy the pilot, but it's a great read.

Then, find a way to watch it. 

Enjoy it.  Learn from it.  Pet it.  Tell it you love it. Buy it nice gifts. Smack it's ass.  And then ask yourself:

Are you on the Global Frequency?

Hell's Kitchen

I've been living in Hell's Kitchen in New York City off and on for the past 11 years.  Mostly on. Well, in. Now, for you non-NYCers, Hell's Kitchen is the area between 34th and 59th Streets, from 8th Avenue to the Hudson River.  Right next to the theater district and a block from Broadway. There are many different stories as to how it got this name.  Midtownmedia.com gives a great explanation as to the variety of origins. 

Although the name Hell's Kitchen refers to a rough section on the South Side of London, the term in reference to New York first appeared in print on September 22, 1881 when a New York Times reporter went to the West 30s with a police guide to get details of a multiple murder there. He referred to a particularly infamous tenement at 39th Street and 10th Avenue as "Hell's Kitchen," and said that the entire section was "probably the lowest and filthiest in the city." According to this version, 39th Street between 9th and 10th Avenues became known as Hell's Kitchen and the name was later expanded to the surrounding streets. Another version ascribes the name's origins to a German restaurant in the area known as Heil's Kitchen, after its proprietors. But the most common version traces it to the story of Dutch Fred The Cop, a veteran policeman, who with his rookie partner, was watching a small riot on West 39th Street near 10th Avenue. The rookie is supposed to have said, "This place is hell itself," to which Fred replied, "Hell's a mild climate. This is Hell's Kitchen."

Officially, it's called Clinton.  No, not for our former president.  There were a few others sans cigars. Although, I'm quite certain oral activities can be found here. (I thought I saw him the other day...)

Rumor has it that DeWitt Clinton, a mayor of New York City and governor of New York State had a home in the area which is now officially called "Clinton." There is no documentation of such a residence; however, his uncle George Clinton, the first governor of the New York Territory, did own land in the area, and DeWitt Clinton owned land just above the Great Kill Road (now 42nd Street). The Clinton family has a long association with the area. — Mary Clark, Clinton Project

When I first moved into the area in '94, it still had some seediness to it.  Sex shops, drug dealers, sex shops, xxx movie theaters, sex shops, hookers, sex shops, pimps, sex shops, strip clubs, sex shops and....oh...uh....a few sex shops.  MAN, I LOVED THIS 'HOOD!  Seriously, it was awesome watching the Broadway shows get out and seeing the theater crowd walk past the pimps in their bright colored suits.  

Don't get me wrong.  It was still safe to walk around in the 'hood.  Not all the time and not in certain areas, but we usually stuck to 8th & 9th avenues.  Lotsa cool bars and stuff where we hung. Like an ex-girlfriend once said, "Where else can you go to the deli at 4am and buy fresh fruit and some porn?"  I sure do miss that girl.  The things she could do with produce. 

Then Giuliani came into power and brought Disney along with him.  They cleaned the area up pretty good! Closing sex shops, opening theaters and stores.  Mickey Takes Manhattan! But, like anything, the bad things don't leave, they just move over a little further. So, we can still get our smut fix if we just walk over a few blocks!  Wheeeee!! 

 

 

Long Story Short...

"To make a long story short..."

This is something you will NEVER hear me say.  We all know how I like to embellish and the attention I pay to detail.  Often voluble, but I like the details!  Still, at least I admit that I am multiloquent.  I find that people who say the above statement are more verbose than I could ever be.  And, obviously, I use thesaurus.com because I just used 3 different ways to say "talkative" in the past 3 sentences.  Or, I'm just that smart.  Well, I am Asian. 

I was talking to someone tonight and I swear she said, "to make a long story short..." at least every 10-15 minutes.  No hyperbolizing here.  She kept saying it.  And, she kept talking! I kept thinking, "When is it gonna be short!  It's never short! MAKE IT SHORT! PLEASE MAKE IT SHORT! I BEG YOU! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!"  The stories kept going and going.  None made sense and none went together. Now, my understanding in making a long story short would be something simple.  I'll give an example in telling the story of Homer's THE ILIAD:

THE ILIAD narrates several weeks of action during the tenth and final year of the Trojan War concentrating on the wrath of Achilles.  It begins with the dispute between Achilles and Agamemnon.  To make a long story short, lots of people die in the war and it ends with the funeral rites of Hector. 

See?  THAT'S how you make a long story short.  And that was an epic poem!  Take that, Cliff's Notes! 

Let's try another story. How about the story of J.R.R. Tolkien's THE LORD OF THE RINGS trilogy:

The inhabitants of middle-earth come together and form a fellowship to combat the evil of the Dark Lord, Sauron and to return the One Ring to the fiery pits of Mordor.  To make a long story short, they walk around a lot, get in fights, get separated, destroy the ring and finally get back together for a happy ending.

DAMN!  I'm getting good at this! How about that grand French epic, LES MISERABLES by Victor Hugo:

Jean Valjean steals a loaf of bread to feed his family.  This starts a continuous cat and mouse chase between he and Inspector Javert.  To make a long story short, there's one of the French revolutions, some love stories, an orphan girl,  and almost everyone dies.

I'm on a roll! Who knew I could be so terse?  So Concise? So frickin laconic?!! (Thesaurus strikes again!) What's next? Maybe I'll start a new website.  Jimmy's Short Classics: Truly making a long story short. 

Who am I kidding? I can't shut up.  But, that's an entirely different story. 

To make a long story short...

Old School

I was watching Attack of the Show on the G4 channel tonight.  (It's a tech based/gaming entertainment type show.) They had a special guest playing video games on the show named Valerie Penso.  She went to my high school (Fletcher Sr. High in Jacksonville, FL), was on the reality show, Temptation Island (first season), and has enjoyed some minor celebrity since then.  Currently, you can catch her on Bravo's Battle of the Network Reality Stars.  We kind of knew one another back then and still have mutual friends in common.  She is frickin hot.  She was definitely pretty back in the day, but man, mama has growed up and filled out!  Check it: Visions of Valerie.

So, I grabbed the Senior yearbook (yes, I have it on the bookshelf!) and looked for her pic.  She was a Junior.  Yep, looked good then.  Although, some funky hair! (Didn't we all?) So, I started flipping through some more and wondered about some other classmates that may have found some fame and fortune. 

Let's see.  One girl became a playboy playmate.  I remember runway modeling at the local mall with her a few years after we graduated.  But, I was proud to see her as a centerfold some years later.  She was an asian sista and all!  Hey, she went for her dream and took her clothes off for it. 

Another played some pro football for a season or 2 but never gained star status. 

I hear that a dear friend from then, Angela Dean, was steadily working in the opera field, but haven't been able to locate her. 

Oh, wait. I'm flipping through the senior class pages now.  HOLY SHIT!  ANNE RICE graduated with me! Seriously, ANNE RICE!  Oh, crap.  Not THAT Anne Rice. In the future, maybe I should just say Anne Rice graduated with me and let people come to their own conclusions. Or just make stuff up like, "She wanted me to play the lead in INTERVIEW WITH A VAMPIRE, but the studio went for a name."

Anyway...

I remember when my 10 year high school reunion was happening.  I had recently moved from Hell's Kitchen to the upper west side and was still not getting all of my mail in a timely manner when my old roomie drops off a load of mail.  I saw the HS Reunion mail.  It was going to be in 2 weeks and I was prepping to leave to do a show. I really wanted to go, because at the time, I was looking frickin hot and wanted to show off to all those fuckers who didn't think I was shit back in the day! Not that I'm shallow like that.  Well, okay, I am.  Anyway, I called our old Senior Class President, Vanessa, and chatted with her.  We had been good friends all through high school, so it was fun catching up.  I swear her southern accent got thicker over the years though.  She, and apparently every other girl we graduated with, was married and pregnant and already had a litter of kids.  She asked what I was doing and I gave her a quick resume.  "OH MY GAWD!  YOU WERE ON GUIDING LIGHT?!! YOU'RE DOING JESUS CHRIST SUPERSTAR? YOU MADE IT! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"  So, in her eyes, I was a star! Hey, it's enough for me.  I'll take it.

I'm sure many of my fellow classmates have become successful in various fields.  But, no one really cares unless it's something entertaining.  Curing cancer?  Who cares?  Were you on a reality show? Invented some new technology to help the world advance?  So what? Did you take your clothes off doing it? So, sit down and keep improving the world.  Just do it quietly. 

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Okay, gonna shift gears for a minute.  (Cleverly shown by the dashes separating these topics. I is smart.) Still gonna talk about the yearbook though.  So, just indulge me or I'll go to classmates.com and leave nasty posts about you. 

What was most interesting about going through old pics, was just looking at some of them and imagining what they might be doing.  Yep, she's most definitely come out.  And he's that serial killer that hasn't been caught yet. Yep, she's found Jesus.  And, he probably still hasn't graduated yet. 

Oh, I know what you're thinking?  Who am I to judge?  Well, it's my blog, so I am I to judge!

Also, at my high school, our senior pictures were in formal wear and extremely airbrushed.  I am filipino and have an obvious birthmark (mole) right in the middle of my upper lip.  Guess what?  They frickin airbrushed it out!  Hey, that's a part of me!  Give it back!  I had to add it back in whenever I signed my friend's yearbooks.  The horror. 

My senior year was very active.  I was in a ridiculous amount of clubs and an officer in almost all of them.  Like so:  Student Council-President, Senior Men-Vice Pres., Spanish Club-Secretary, Key Club-Chaplain, Yearbook Staff-Sectional Editor, Drama Club, S.A.D.D., ICC, Chorus, National Honor Society, Who's Who, Brain Brawl, etc.  Yeah, ridiculous.  I stayed after school every day until almost 5 for meetings.  But, it was fun for me and my friends.  Even if half the time we just talked about what party we were going to that weekend and who was hotter, Lisa Bucheimer or Carrie White.  They both were in my English class and I sat behind Lisa and next to Carrie.  We got to be good friends and hung out at parties and stuff.

I know I look like an over achiever, but trust me, I wasn't.  Student Council President?  I ruled the school!  Okay, actually we didn't do shit!  I got to do the morning announcements, hold meetings and show up at events to represent! Hey, kind of like our presidency now!  Man, I shoulda stayed in politics. And, Brain Brawl?  What the hell is that?  Well, it was basically a nerdy version of team Jeopardy.  It aired each week on the local PBS affiliate.  4 people on each team.  A monitor would ask the questions and whomever buzzed first got to answer.  I was our resident math wiz.  (Hey, I'm asian.) Our school was actually the county champs in my sophomore year.  Senior year we didn't fair so well.  A funny thing in the yearbook section featuring Brain Brawl.  It was spelled BRIAN Brawl.  Oh yeah.  The smart guys had a typo on the title of their page!  Oh irony. You strike my high school life in print for all to see. 

My girlfriend situation was very tepid.  I always had these crushes.  My crush for years was one grade ahead of me.  Carol Ann Mahoney.  She was it.  Cheerleader, and all around hottie.  We had classes together throughout the years and she completely knew my affections toward her. We were friends, but I realized she was out of my league.  (Oh, so popular as I was, I was still a grade below her. *sniff*) So, starting Junior year, my crush became a fellow classmate, Terri Richards.  Once again, we had classes and were friends.  We lived near one another and would drive to school together often.  I was not very good at hiding my feelings back then, so, of course, she knew.  Hell, everyone knew.  Even her boyfriend.  Who kindly tried to threaten me to "stay away from Terri."  I didn't realize I was so threatening back then!  Awww yeah! Being my friend, she came to my defense and told her boyfriend off.  But, she didn't break up.  We remained good friends and she is definitely one of the ones I often wonder about.  But, I may never know because she isn't in the classmates.com data base and her name is too common for a google search.  Holla atcha boy, Terri! That goes for you too, Carol Ann! One day, I started noticing a girl at the local Godfather's Pizza Place.  My favorite joint in high school!  Amy.  She was cute and sweet and always tried to hook me up with free pizza.  So, word got out and sure enough, she liked me too! She was a grade lower (hey, I take what I can get!).  We swiftly became boyfriend/girlfriend.  Making out in the halls.  In my car.  In class.  At her work.  At the beach. During lunch.  It was steamy! We made plans for prom and things were looking good.  Man, I might even get some in high school!

Then, another underclassmen got her clutches in me one night.  Another girl I had liked,  all of the sudden expressed her like back for me in a very forward manner.  VERY forward manner. Being a teenage boy, we're not very good at saying no to advancements.  This other girl, Jessica, and I talked all that weekend and I told her I was going to break up with Amy and then we could go to prom.  So, because I got a little further with Jessica in one night than I had with Amy in a couple of weeks, I decided to go for Jessica.  Like an idiot.  I figured, well, I'll be adult about this and just break up with Amy and tell her the truth.  I did and to her credit, she handled it well.  On the phone, at least.  Yeah, I'm an asshole.  But, I got what I deserved.  Jessica stopped talking to me after I broke up with Amy and said she didn't want to go to prom.  Basically, she just wanted to see if she could break us up and fool around with me for some time.  She succeeded.  Hey, I'm to blame. I know that. As much as I hated Jessica for it, I know it was really my fault.  Of course, Amy wouldn't talk to me any more and was really hurt.  I felt bad, but it was my senior year and I was trying to have fun.  For the record, I'm sorry, Amy.  I sucked and made a stupid decision.  I'm sure she hasn't even thought twice about me, but I always remember her.  My first big fuck up in romance.  Of course, over the years, I have become a pro at the romantic fuck ups.  A Fuck-Up-Ologist, if you will.  But, I'll get it right some day. I'll keep you posted. 

When Did We Stop Listening to Modern Music?

As a kid, I always loved my mom's record collection.  She had a ton of Elvis and Motown records.  Now, this was before the time of the CD, kids!  We actually had a stereo.  (Look it up on wikipedia, if you don't know what a stereo is!) I have been an avid music fan since I was an embryo.  However, I always wondered why she never had any music after the '60's.  No Rolling Stones, no Beatles, hell...not even any Beach Boys.  Moms just turned the radio off some time around 1964 and never turned it back on.  (Shortly after, she started having kids.....hmmmm...maybe WE killed her taste for music.  Sorry Mom!)

So, as I came into the world, with headphones on, I had the radio on constantly.  (No! Don't cut that!  It's my headphones! Oh, no, just my umbilical cord.)  Once again kiddies, this is pre-MTV days.  Hard to fathom, I know.  Breathe.  I was an American Top 40 whore.  I was Casey Kasem's little bitch.  I wrote so many "long distant dedications" to the girl down the block and never understood why he wouldn't read them.  Or maybe it's because they read like so:

Dear Casey

I am 10 yrs. old. I love Kathy V.   She lives a block away.  Please play "All Out of Love" by Air Supply because I love her and want to marry her. Oh yeah. And have sex with her.  If I knew what that was and how to do it.  I just hear that it's cool.  So, please play it so we can have sex.  Thanks.

Your loving fan (unless you don't play it then I will kill you)- Jimmy

Sweet, huh?  Still don't get why he wouldn't read them.  It's like Shakespeare. (And on a side not, I never put together why Casey Kasem sounded just like "Robin" in THE SUPERFRIENDS cartoon and "Shaggy" in SCOOBY-DOO.)

I was very into Pop, R&B and Rock.  Then, I heard "Rapper's Delight" by The Sugar Hill Gang and was introduced to the world of rap.  I decided that I was black.  I figured, hey, I'm Filipino and Irish, ....I'm brown and I've heard of the black Irish.  So, why not?   I still listened to all the other stuff too and soon had a big cassette tape collection.  (Cassette tapes were the cool way to listen to music back then.  Yes, I'm old.)  As MTV came into play, I got exposed to even more types of music.  You see, back in MTV's infancy, they actually played music videos.  Another difficult concept to understand, I know.  CD's followed shortly after. My collection just kept on growing.  And now with mp3's, the possibilities are endless.  Pretty soon, I'll just be able to have music play in my head by touching my nose.  Tug my right ear, volume control. Left ear, song selection.  I just can't sneeze or the feedback is a bitch!

Now, here's the thing. I have never turned off the radio.  Or the music channels.  I still buy or download new music at least once a week. Whenever I hang with some young 'uns, I usually know what they are talking about or have more knowledge of their "favorite artist" than they do.  I still have an eclectic taste.  I mostly listen to rap/hip hop and R&B, but still buy alot of the new rock and alternative and yes, pop stuff.  (Don't hate the playa, hate the game!) There's some great shit out there!  And, there's some shit out there.  Like any industry, the music market is flooded with the good and the sucky. 

And, not hating on moms in the earlier paragraph.  I just never got it.  I have friends that grew up as I did, and have turned off the radio/TV.  Some of them only like listening to 80's music.  Yeah, it's fun to reminisce, but I don't want to be reminded of the crappy high school life through music all the time.  Plus, some of the generation before me only likes classic 70's rock. And, some of the generation after me is feeling the big 90's grunge scene.  Pretty soon, people will be saying, "remember the 10's?"  I guess that's what we would call this decade?  The early 2000's? No?  Then what the hell do you call it, smarty britches?

For being such a music freak, I got into the mp3 scene a bit late.  My sis, Marsha, bought me a little mp3 player a couple of years ago.  With an expansion card, it could hold about 30-40 songs.  I figured, hey, I buy a CD a week, I'll just listen to it over and over again until the next one.  But, I finally bought an iPod a few months back and can't frickin believe it took me this long!  I have almost my entire music collection on it.  I start at 2pac and end at Zamfir.  Yes, Zamfir.  He of "the magic pan flute."  Hey, it was on the KILL BILL soundtrack.  So, shut it! 

I love old music.  Even Gregorian chants.  But, I don't think I will ever stop listening to new music.  So, all you closed minded old fogies out there.  Open up a bit and try something new.  You just might dig it.  I'm gonna be one of those old people that the kids think is trying to be hip.  Yet, I actually will be. 

Kids 'R Us

From previous posts, you know that my friend had her 16 yr. old niece and best friend in town for awhile.  I got to help play host and hang out with them.  The thing about hangin out with young 'uns is you notice how they are free spirited and cavalier.  I mean all this in a good way.  In the few days I hung out w/ them, we had a blast! I could be myself and not worry about trying to impress anyone or what they might think or judge me, etc.  So, perhaps it's escapism, but I'll take it any time over some of the day to day crapola that I sometimes get dealt.

Some of you know that I used to be a teacher back in the day for about 4 yrs. and had my own children's theater company.   I did teach in the drama field and loved it.  I found I was great with kids and they seemed to really look up to me.  

Plus, they are perceptive as hell.  You can't NOT be yourself around them. Great little story here. I was teaching at a theater summer camp back in '91 or '92.  One weekend, a dear friend of mine, Stephan, had succumbed to his injuries from a car accident.  It was very hard to deal.  Still, I came in that Monday trying to be the happy go lucky Jimmy.  A few of the kids in my older class (11-14yrs old) asked me if I was okay.  I assured them it was all good.  I wasn't visibly crying or showing my grief, but they just knew.  I was amazed.  None of my co-teachers knew what I had went through since I hadn't had a chance to tell them and didn't want to possibly break down in front of the kids.   Around 1pm, it's time for my 11-14yr old acting class.  They were having trouble with this death scene that they had to do for the big play at the end of the summer.  They just couldnt get the emotion.  So, since they had an idea that something was wrong, I felt it was okay to tell them.  They all started to come over and console me, but I didnt show my grief and just wanted to move on.  I had asked them to bring in some poetry that might help them achieve the emotions needed for the scene.  They read theirs and then asked if I had anything.  As is common, often grief will inspire.  I had written something about my friend and they asked if I would read it.  So, I did.  I got through most of it and then kind of choked up at the end.  I looked up and saw how I had affected them.  We all had a big group hug.  Oh yeah, they're therapeutic as well!  Anyway, I told them to use this emotion in the scene.  You know what?  They nailed it every time.  Sorry to digress, but I was trippin down memory lane for a minute.  Still, some examples of the greatness of kid friendships! (By the way, I am still in touch with a few former students.  One, moved up here and I got her a job and she is now engaged to a former co-worker! And she still considers me her mentor!)

So, next time you are bummed out or pissed off about something, go hang with your kids, or your sister's kids, or your friend's kids.  You might just get a new perspective on life.  

Podcasts

What's a podcast, you ask? Well, little Suzie, it's basically an online radio show of sorts.  You can do it anywhere.  (Podcasting that is...we'll have the birds and bees discussion later.) A fairly new phenomenon that gets bigger every day.  In simple terms, if you have an mp3 recorder and some mics, then you can record one!  Take it home, upload it into your computer, send it to appropriate download sites (your website, podcast sites, etc.) and await for the show to be downloaded by your adoring public!  As some of you know, my friends, Joe and Julio, have a podcast that I have guest hosted on called Comic News Insider.

As their website says, it covers "News, reviews & interviews on everything comic book & animation."  Check it out and you can hear me on episodes 13 & 14. (And future ones to come!)

My other 2 favorite podcasts out there are quite well known in the podcast, tech and real world.  this WEEK in TECH or TWIT, as they call themselves,  is a weekly show hosted by many of the former hosts of THE SCREENSAVERS from the recently defunct TechTV.  As they say, "Your first podcast of the week is the last word in tech."  It covers tech news, new ideas, helpful hints,etc.  Anchored by Leo Laporte and featuring Patrick Norton, Kevin Rose, and other tech gurus.  Kevin Rose also hosts, along with Alex Albrecht, the other weekly podcast I listen to called Digg Nation.  It covers the top stories from digg.  Check that site out too.  Very cool.  It's a user based news site.  The more people that read about the story (or "dig" it), the more digs or hits it gets and moves up to the front page to be read.  But, back to their podcast.  Kevin and Alex cover the top digg stories of the week with humor and intelligence and drinking!  They've started tasting new beers every episode.  Good stuff! These are 2 of the top podcasts in the nation always vying for the #1 spot on iTunes, Podcast Alley,and Odeo.   (Sites to download podcasts.) 

So, you can go to these sites directly from the links above and download.  Now, you don't have to listen to them on an mp3 player.  You can listen to them at your computer.  Not just for geeks anymore!  Join the revolution! 

I'm actually thinking of starting a podcast of my own.  Just not sure what the subject would be.  Drinking? Stripper of the week? Things I ate today? Hmmmm.....Maybe there wouldn't be one.  Just me rambling.  Oh yeah.  That'll be some good listenin.  Stay tuned...

Mall Rat & Chikin Lover

My sister, Marsha, likes to make fun of me because I always want to go to the mall when I visit her in New Jersey. I live in NYC.  We don't have malls!  I worked in malls during my late teens and early 20's.  Cheesy men's stores. Hot Topic.  Spencer's Gifts. Generic coffee shops.  The little kiosks of crap strewn about.  So many other stores that, yes, we probably have in NYC or their equivalent.  But, not in one concentrated and air conditioned area!  Plus, that oasis of eateries.  THE FOOD COURT!  One of my favorite food court destinations is Chick-fil-A.  I swear, there's crack in them thar nuggets!  So, happy was I when we entered the food court.  As we approach the Crack-fil-A, I notice the lights out.  Sure enough.  Closed!  CURSES!  A nice little sign w/ one of the founders pictures on explained why:

"Our founder, Truett Cathy, wanted to ensure that every Chick-fil-A employee and restaurant operator had an opportunity to worship, spend time with family and friends or just plain rest from the work week.  Made sense then, still makes sense now."

Well, I bet if Jesus wanted a chicken sandwich on a Sunday, he'd get it!  You could call them Chicken Nuggets of Wisdom, Gethsemane Chicken Strips or Holy Waffle Wafers.  Come on! It could catch on!  I'm sending my ideas to the corporate office.  I bet it was Judas's descendants that started KFC and Popeye's.  They're raking in more than 30 pieces of silver on a Sunday, bub! Not that I condone Judas's betrayal.  Of course, if he didn't, then maybe Jesus would have lived a long life and opened up his own chicken chain, Pentecostal Poultry.   Then, it would be acceptable to eat there on Sundays!  That frickin Judas.  What a selfish bastard.

Big Fish & Britney Spears

Okay.  Let's just get it out of the way.  I let my Filipino people down.  The natural born fisherman of the islands didn't come out in me.  I didn't catch a fish.  But, to be fair, hardly anyone caught anything.  I might have caught an STD from that skanky girl who kept eating her bait and drunkenly tried to play "The Little Mermaid" for everyone.  But, it was fun to chill with Lil' Sis.  While we were fishing, they had some videos playing for the kiddies.  Oh yes, FINDING NEMO was playing.  The irony was not lost on me.  The kids are happily enjoying the fishies inside while we are doing our best to hook, catch, gut and eat them on the outside.  I suppose if it was a safari, we'd have THE LION KING playing for them.  Or BAMBI on a deer hunt.  To liven the atmosphere,  I ran in with a fluke fish and yelled to the kids in a drunken rage, "Here's your little bastard, Nemo!", then promptly consumed him whole.  They cried and cried.  Kids are so sensitive these days. 

I was a bit tired and sat in the cabin to rest for a few.  I was awoken by the kids loudly singing and discussing their favorite pop stars.  First, the one little girl, around 10 yrs. old, told the little boy of 8, that he couldn't sing.  He replied with, "I bet you can't either!"  She retorted, "Oh yes I can!" and started warbling like an out of tune piano being played by a pack of hyper monkeys.  She then asked, "Hey, do you guys like Britney Spears? I'm her biggest fan!"  At this point, another little girl of around 10 joined the fray with a sharp reply of, "EWWWWWW!"  And continued her point in a decidely scary and way too adult Dakota Fanning-esque manner.  "Britney is ridiculous.  She may be able to sing, but her choice of clothing is tacky and appalling.  Plus, she disgraces herself with her bad attitude and her social ineptitude."   Or something to that affect.  Seriously.  The other little girl, flabbergasted at best, said nothing and just walked away.  Ah, Britney, your biggest fan couldn't even defend you.  I started to rise to Britney's defense, but the adulty little girl frightened me when she gave me that "Carol Ann" from POLTERGEIST look.  The other little girl returned and I guess had pondered upon her statement about being Britney's biggest fan.  "Well, I'm not her biggest fan, but I am a fan."  Just then, the other girl asked who she liked better, "Britney or Hillary Duff?"  Brit's biggest fan quickly renounced her idol and conformly said, "Hillary!"  I assume, so as not to get another diatribe from the too old for her britches Brit hater.  If only we could solve all of our problems this way.  Just change your mind and back down when confronted or made fun of!  So, having had enough, I told all the kids to quiet down or I'd throw them overboard to be eaten by sharks.  They all cried again.  I went and got another beer.  Man, I should have a hundred kids.  I'd be a great dad. 

Gone Fishin'!

No, the title is not a clever metaphor.  I'm actually going fishing on saturday in about 12 hours with my sister and her friends somewhere in New Jersey.  Yeah, I said it.  Fishing in Jersey.  Don't underestimate the power of the Garden State! The only poles I'm used to being around usually involve someone dancing on them.  So, not sure how I'll handle the ol' fishin' pole.  Been awhile.  How do I put on the bait? That's always confused me.  Hopefully, there will be a bait guru on board.  Sort of a master baiter.  

Haven't been on a boat in awhile.  I was always good on them, but everyone is freaking me out and telling me to take dramamine.   They all had these "Perfect Storm" stories about 50 foot waves that swayed them back and forth and how sick they got.  Nice.  Thanks for all the vomit stories people! Plus, my sister works in a hospital and all of her friends are doctors and nurses.   I ain't scurred! But, just to be on the safe side I'm gonna wear the dramamine patch. What? That's not for sea sickness?  What is it for?........OHHHHHHHH!!!!  Well, I may get sick but at least I wont get pregnant! 

Back in a day or 2 with tales of the one that got away!  (Angelina Jolie, of course.)