I was browsing through my Jacksonville Jaguars website and noticed that The Roar, the Jaguars cheerleaders, calendar was out. I briefly checked it out to see if I know any of the girls from my old hometown. Nah, not a one. Although, I imagine I wouldn't mind knowing a few! Thank you! Good night! I suddenly realized that calendar season was upon us. I had started to notice them recently in Virgin Mega-store and Barnes & Noble. Some of the subjects that are calendar worthy are amazing. Amazing that they actually got made. Sure there are the standard swimsuit ones, sports, music, television, film, etc. Then, the baffling ones like: knitting, crochet, paper airplanes, fruits and vegetables. Oh yeah. July is one ripe tomato. Literally. Nice melons in December.
I actually dig buying the daily calendars for people as an extra giftee during my holiday gift giving. Usually fun ones like The Onion or a cool cartoon one like The Simpsons or Family Guy. Or, if my friend is a dork like me, then a Star Wars or comic book one. Or, if they are a big perv like me, then the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit one. But, never those stupid "Joke a Day!" or "Cute Anecdotes" or "We know these aren't clever or funny sayings but we publish them anyway and you buy them because you're an idiot" ones.
The past few years, I always seemed to get a Britney Spears wall calendar from friends as a joke birthday gift. That's cool. I love joke gifts as long as they are accompanied with REAL ones. Aren't I too old to just be getting a joke gift from a good friend? Anyway, last Christmas, my moms got me a Marilyn Monroe calendar. When I was younger, I loved her. Still dig her, but I've moved on when I realized I didn't have a shot with her. What? Too soon? Come on!
My calendar love started as a kid when I would get the hot model or pop star or actress or cheerleader calendar and proudly display in my locker and/or bedroom. We even had some controversy one year in high school. One of the guy's clubs that I was in published an annual calendar with our pick of the 12 hottest girls in the senior class. My high school was 3 blocks from the beach, so bikini's were a popular choice. Like everywhere, we had some smoking hot chicks that posed. Some in dresses, but a few in the lesser wear. I remember one year when almost all of them did swim wear. Some thongs and LOTS of cleavage. We made the local news! Sweeeeeet! It was very controversial because THE senior class brainiac, Catherine Wilkinson, posed. We all thought she was pretty, but she always wore Izod sweaters and Polo skirts or pants. Very conservative. When she literally busted out of the pages of the calendar.....WHOA! All of the sudden we all wanted to be smarter. And seriously, this is one of the smartest people on the planet. I have no idea where she is now, but I can only bet she is discovering new life forms or curing diseases or something. She was that smart. And, as we kind of always knew, that hot.
Still, I guess my calendar love is when I, myself, was calendar worthy. What for? Not the Kikkoman calendar. Nor the "Guess what ethnic group?" one. Nor the "Gods of Hell's Kitchen." (Although, I was a long shot.)
Senior year in high school, a girl's club decides to put out their male version of the calendar that the guy's club put out.
That's right! You'll all be getting one in the mail. Look for it.
Comments