Unbeknownst to many, I also was an author of a numerous amount of children's book. Most were never published and those that were caused my eventual exile from Florida. Anyway, I guess I just never found my audience. Maybe you can help me figure out why. Here's a sample of my work:
- Mommy, What's a Blow Job?
- The Night Daddy Drove the Babysitter Home
- Puss 'N Boots: The Story of a Dominatrix
- Impotence: Daddy's Little Engine That Could
- Why Mommy Goes Crazy Once a Month
- The Paris Hilton Pop-Up Book
- If You Don't Be Quiet...Mommy Will Make You!
- Santa, the Easter Bunny, and Other Imaginary Things
- What Jack & Jill Did on the Hill
- Lying is Okay If It Keeps You Out of Trouble
- How to Cheat on Your Math Test
- Your First Boner
- Fun With Fire!
- The Wonderful Hair Down There
- Sparky Didn't Go to Heaven....YOUR PARENTS KILLED HIM!
- You're Prettier Than the Other Kids, So Don't Play With Them
- Why Bobby Has His Hands in His Pants
- Bed Wetting and Electric Blankets
- Everyone Else Knows 2+2=4, Why Don't You?
- It's Okay to Tell Someone to Fuck Off
- If You Don't Like Your Teacher, Then Spit on Her!
- The Art of Stealing Lunch Money
- The Bumps on Becky's Chest Get Bigger
- If a Stranger Asks You to Get in the Car, Ask If You Can Drive
- HEY! YOU'RE ADOPTED!
- Mommy & The Mailman
- Some Cats Can Fly!
- You're An Accident!
- Mommy Drinks Because You Cry
- Missy Was So Bad, Her Daddy Stopped Loving Her
- Mommy & Daddy Say "God Did It" Because They're Stupid
- How To Write a Will
- You're Dumb and We Don't Like You.
All very educational books. I fail to understand why they went unpublished.
Comments