Terrell Owens. What an ass. A talented ass, but still an ass. You may have heard about his suspension from his team, the Philadelphia Eagles. He had talked smack about his team, got in a fight with a teammate, talked smack about his coach and just acted like he normally does. A selfish prick. So, the Eagles suspended him indefinitely. He's out for the whole season. So, he decided to wait a few days and apologize. He did. Seemed somewhat insincere about it. And, then it got worse.
His agent is this bigger ass named Drew Rosenhaus. Just look at him. Also known as "The Shark" of sports agents. Once named the most hated man in the NFL. And he's not even a player! JERRY MAGUIRE, the movie, has a character loosely based on him. He's a bigger dick than T.O. That's Terrell Owens. I was just talking about him, so keep up! Anyway, he's about as good at apologies as T.O. He gets up after T.O. finishes his little bit and begins to apologize for T.O. Instead, it comes off like a cocky rant and berating of the media for making T.O. look so bad. Dick and Dicker.
I was thinking. Some people have misunderstood emails or stuff I say in this blog. I want to say I'm sorry for all of that. I have hired Drew Rosenhaus to speak for me (in red text). He will take questions (in blue text) at the end. Drew will now be taking over this blog.
I am Drew Rosenhaus, Jimmy Aquino's Blog Agent. Jimmy Aquino is sorry if he upset you for things he said in this blog. Jimmy Aquino has a very sarcastic and fun sense of humor and meant no harm. Maybe it's your fault that you don't get it. You should get an education. Jimmy Aquino is a member of Mensa. He shouldn't have to wait for you all to understand him. Jimmy Aquino is too good for you. Jimmy Aquino wants to continue with this blog. Jimmy Aquino writes a humorous daily missive for you to read and you just don't appreciate it. What more do you want from him? You should all just appreciate his talent and get over your own egos and low self esteem. Jimmy Aquino isn't here to pamper you. Go to your mother for that. Questions?
Will Jimmy stop being so sarcastic?
Next question.
Will Jimmy ever differentiate when he is kidding and explain to us when he isn't?
Next question.
If Jimmy had never met you, would he be such a narcissistic and mean humored asshole finding himself in a position where he has to apologize?
Next question.
Is Jimmy Aquino actually a famous writer ghosting on this blog?
Jimmy Aquino is Jimmy Aquino. He is brilliant, funny and certainly should be a famous writer. If you got off his back, he just might make it. So, keep reading this every day and learn something for once. No more questions! Good-bye!
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