What's this? A mish mosh of 5 days of Seattle fun? Why not break them up daily? Well, if you would quit asking questions, then you'd know! So, shut it! You will notice that I have combined the 2 previous posts into this one so you could have one nice long read! See how nice I am? I didn't have computer access every night in Seattle. I couldn't post on Day 2 because we stayed at Christina's parents house and they have no computer. Seriously. Breathe, people, breathe. And, I couldn't post Friday night because we had Christina's birthday party at her brother Mark's house and a ton of people stayed over and I couldn't get access to the computer. You sure do ask a lot of me! Settle in, you know this wont be a haiku.
DAY 1 (Wednesday, 11/23): Seattle bound! After no sleep, I get to the airport around 6 a.m. Meet up with my traveling companion, Christina, at the boarding gate. We have over an hour to kill, so we decide to go get some eats. There was 1 line that was a block long for some place with croissants and coffee. We got in it. Befriended a cute girl in line ahead of us and all. Hey, warm croissants with bacon, egg and cheese! Sign me up. We'll take 2! I pay and we get the food. Yep, it's cold. Cheese isn't melted. Croissant is cold. Bacon is crap. And eggs look nasty. We sit next to our new friend, Ali (sp?), that we met in line. It seems she is from Seattle and is just going home for the holiday. Ali is kinda cute and I try to make it clear that Christina and I are just friends. Christina didn't help when she kept mentioning that we had a child together. What a bitch. Anyway, Ali had a hard time buying it, but I think I convinced her to meet us out Saturday night! We'll see. Plane boarding time.
I flew with Song Airlines. We all know the boring little speech that one of the flight attendants gives about safety. However, Song has a recording. Right off the bat, it seemed a bit different. Music playing in the background. A Spanish accented woman speaking. Christina and I immediately started laughing. People looked at us like we were making fun of this poor woman's accent. But, we were later redeemed when it was clear that it was all for fun. There seriously was a section in the recording when the woman says, "Pause for the castanets." Finally, everyone got that it was a fun version of the safety protocols. Most of us actually applauded it's ending. My trip was off to a great start!
We get to Seattle and Christina's mom picks us up at the airport. So cute. I had met her before in New York and she greeted me with a big hug and kiss. We drove back to the parent's house. Okay. 
Can I just say...a palace! So big and clean and neat and huge and immaculate! Mom had cookies and candies lying about for us to indulge. Mmmmmmm.....
Later, we go to Christina's brother's house. Mark, the brother, and his wife, another Kristina, are the proud parents of the lovely 
Mia (16) who you may remember visited back in August. She has 2 younger sisters, 
Lina (13) and 
Erika (11). We stopped at the store before we got there to pick up some wine. I bought about 5 bottles of some nice and various reds. We drank most of it. All good! Mark, a gourmet chef in his spare time, prepared a rockin pad Thai meal! It was so good! Before dinner, they played a recording that Lina, had made. She composed, wrote and sung. Holy crap. It was so beautiful! I had to ask again. How old are you? She sounded like she had lived 12 lives already! The little one, Erika, then got up and played her sax. She already knows how to play some percussion and only recently picked up the sax. She was rockin it out as well! Mia jumped on the piano briefly and showed us her keyboard skills. They could be the female Hanson! Okay, they were much better, actually. They have all of these instruments around and recording equipment because of their dad, Mark. He was a former sound/light tech guy for all of the major Seattle bands back in the day. And, I believe plays many an instrument himself. 
His wife plays a mean guitar too! Currently, he owns a brand new concert venue. Which I may guest bartend at on Saturday!
During dinner, 
Melaina, made an appearance. She accompanied Mia to NYC back in August. She's the one that looks like she could be my kid. After dinner, Christina, Mia, Melaina and I decided to hit the mall for some power shopping. I was in search of black jeans. I kept getting dragged into places that young teenagers hung out at. I finally caught on to their ploy! Eventually, we found a place to get jeans. Melaina and I almost got our pic taken with Santa. However, he was out of his seat and had a briefcase in his hand like he was heading out. What? He's got night court to attend? We were slightly disappointed. We are trying to reschedule our father/daughter pic for this Saturday. Look for it in the future. It might be your X-mas card.
We get back just in time to watch LOST. It's a family affair as they all watch it avidly. I defended Michelle Rodriguez since they all hate her for killing Shannon. No spoiler alert. If you don't know that, then you aren't a fan. Get over it. Afterwards, we popped in the DVD of the HomeGroan Sketch Comedy show that we did at Caroline's on Broadway back in May. Some of it was over the kid's heads, but they got the gist of it.
Everyone was tired and decided to hit the sack since tomorrow was big Gobble Gobble Day. It's 11:15 p.m. here. I didn't go to bed last night at all and only slept off and on during the flight. Still, I'm sitting here wide awake. Well, I have the whole basement to myself. Bed and TV with lots of Disney videos to watch. Guess I'll go pop in BEAUTY AND THE BEAST and fall asleep. "Tale as old as time", indeed. Perhaps...
DAY 2 (Thursday,11/24): Thanksgiving. Let's celebrate the raping and pillaging of the proud native people of our land! Sweeeeet! We arise at Mark's house and have breakfast. Mark's a mean cook and whipped up a hearty meal prepping us for the big feast later. We hung out for a bit and just chilled. Lina was working on her new song on the computer and I heard it again. It's really beautiful. Someone should sign this girl to a contract! Or, I'll just steal it and sell it and take the credit and make millions. Either way. Hey, I'll buy her some socks with the money. 
You'll get that reference later. I'm doing that thing called foreshadowing. Read a book people. Erika and I had thumb wrestling wars and I trounced her soundly. 
I sent her crying to her room for hours. "Ha ha! You're a weak little girl and can't beat me! You suck! No one likes you that's why you always lose!" See? I'd be a great daddy. Okay, I'll fess up. She did beat me once or 15 times. Fine. Happy? I quickly got ready and awaited the girls to finish. And waited. And waited. For the love of...COME ON! TURKEY'S A COOKING! They were using a waffle iron on their hair or something. No wonder it took so long. Finally, everyone was ready and Christina and I piled into the car with all 3 kids. Mark and his wife, Kristina came a few minutes after. We listened to MUCH Blink 182 in the car.
We get to the parents house and things are under way! Erika disappears for a nap. I take her cue and do the same. We were staying there that night so I went downstairs to the guest room they picked out for me. Okay. 
HUGE room, walk in closet, 
large bathroom with jacuzzi. Oh yeah. I napped it for a while. Hey, I'm old. I need those naps! I was awoken by yummy smells of turkey and mashed potatoes and yams and stuffing and bread and cheesy vegetables. Christina and Mark's older brother, Nick, arrives and we are almost ready for our feast! The parents, Dr. & Mrs. Naficy, laid out a spread fit for an Arabian prince! 
Considering that they are of Persian descent, not too far from home! I was the only "non-family" member there, but everyone really went out of their way to make me feel welcome. We sat at this grand dining table and feasted away. 
Yes, I had seconds. Have you seen me? I can't believe I didn't have fourths. It was so good! I wanted to save room for pumpkin pie. I love pumpkin pie. I REALLY love pumpkin pie. I think they got mad when I picked up the first one and smeared it all over my face and started eating it. I couldn't tell because there was whipped cream in my eyes. But, it was goooooood! The kids were staying the night as well and they changed into their "just ate a big meal" pants. We discovered that Lina has holes in her socks. Apparently, all of them. At least I know what to get her for Christmas. That or an iPod.....hmmm....no, she'll definitely want the socks more. The 3 kids are so close and really get along. Sure, they argue here and there, but they really love each other. 
They kept making each other laugh all night,which, in turn, made us crack up. There was a certain word or 2 that made Erika laugh uncontrollably. Joined shortly after by Lina. Mia popped in on it too, but had a little more control. She's 16 and cool now. 
I guess that's why. The rest of us were collectively peeing our pants. Once again, thank goodness I always wear my Depends. You never know when a good peeing can occur.
Thanksgiving was also Christina's birthday. Her father's is Sunday, 11/27. So, they both opened presents. I thought it was selfish that they didn't each give me one of their presents. Maybe it's just me. I know when I invite people into my home, cook an enormous feast, let them stay over, etc....I ALWAYS give gifts. Maybe it's a Persian thing. Oh well. I got over it. Kind of. I just took some of the fine China. I figure it's fair and would save me from embarrassing them later about not gifting their guest. Soon after, Mark and Kristina left. The kids wanted me to help them write a play or musical or something that we could either film or perform. They got a video camera last year and are always making music videos, plays, etc. Where the hell do they get this creativity? At their age I could barely get out of bed. We decided to do a new version of ALADDIN. Mixing the Disney version with our own stuff. The cast was decided: Aladdin-Lina, Abu (monkey sidekick)-Erika, Genie (& various parts)-Mia, Old witch (& various parts)-Christina, Jasmine-me. WAIT..WHAT? Yes, the girls wanted ME to play Princess Jasmine. Because of my silky beautiful Asian hair. Or my girlish figure. I'm still not sure which. Christina was talking to her mother, so the kids and I went to the downstairs living room to improvise a script. Yeah, they are that brilliant that they can just improvise and make up as they go. We had comedy, singing, dancing, fighting and thieving. And that was only the first 5-10 minutes! We never got to finish. Too bad. It's a classic in the making. A brief moment of brilliance: After the Genie appears and says that Aladdin and Abu must go before the desert around them is destroyed, Erika as the monkey,Abu, starts trying to stuff Mia as the Genie back in her bottle so they can run away. She literally grabbed Mia's pajama bottoms and tried to stuff them in the bottle. Frickin comic genius!
We took a break because we wanted to watch a movie. The only videos we could find were an exercise tape, Disney's ATLANTIS and a ghetto ass version of ALADDIN. Of course, we had to watch that one. It was less than an hour long and was horrible. Bad animation, voice acting, story,etc. It had 2 great lines though. "Where do they come up with this stuff?". Which, of course, is exactly what we were thinking. And the 2nd was when Aladdin was rubbing the lamp to get the Genie out and says, "C'mon. Baby needs a new pair of shoes!" Once again, collective pants peeing. Movie over and bed time. I retire to my room and decide to jacuzzi it before bed. Haven't done it in awhile. A-w-e-s-o-m-e. Full from the meal, tired from playing with the kids, and relaxed after whirl pooling....I finally hit the sack. Ready for the next day.
DAY 3 (Friday, 11/25): I am awoken by Christina and the kids pouncing into my room singing and dancing some sort of crazy "Jimmy wake up" song. Naturally, I pulled out my Tech 9 and shot them all and went back to bed. End of story. No, no....I got up and threw pillows at them. We were going to do some touristy stuff. Hit the EMP (Experience Music Project) and Sci-Fi Museum and Space Needle. I quickly get ready and join the kids for breakfast. We eat fast and head out the door. Big day ahead of us. Mark was throwing Christina's birthday bash back at their house later. It was a rainy day. Hey, it's Seattle. We decide to nix the Space Needle due to the weather. 
Well, Christina decided to nix it. I've said it before. What a bitch. I hate her. Anyway, we get to the EMP and head in. Lots of music paraphernalia. And I mean lots. This is no Hard Rock Cafe. Original instruments, records, clothing, sheet music, lyrics, etc. 
This huge wall of guitars in the middle. Then, we saw a line. You could shoot your own rock video and actually play the instruments! Well, the kids and Christina all play at least 1 if not 2 or 3 instruments each. I fake really well. Ask my ex-girlfriend. Uh...never mind. Mia thought of our band name. She was inspired from her trip to NYC back in August. Remember the story? She was sitting at my restaurant and looking at the menu. "Ewwwwww.....what are lamb skanks?" Yes, she misread. It was shanks not skanks. Good thing she's pretty. So, our band name? You guessed it. The Lamb Skanks! The girl in charge of the line thought it quite funny. The family of 6 in front of us did not. Screw them! They sucked anyway! We go into the studio and they give us some rules. If you know how to play the instrument, let them know and they'll keep your sound up. If not, they'll make it look like you do know but turn the sound down. We all opted for keeping the sound up. There were only 3 choices of songs. Joan Jett's "I Love Rock 'n Roll!", The Troggs "Wild Thing" (you'd know it if you heard it) and some other random song I can't recall. Being a group of 4 girls and 1 guy, we chose "I Love Rock 'n Roll". Erika took drums, Christina keyboards, Lina and Mia singing and me on guitar. I gotta say. We freakin rocked! Although, I think they turned my guitar off half way through since I was not faking it that well. Erika was jamming away on the percussion though! They add in crowd noises to really make you feel like you are playing in front of a sold out audience! We did the whole song and they take a picture and you can buy a DVD of it as well. Yes, we got the whole package. We've decided to commit to working together. 
Be on the lookout for our debut CD from Slutty Records entitled THE LAMB SKANKS: We're All Related Except For This Guy.
Being the dork that I am, I do the Sci-Fi museum by myself. I wanted one of the kids to come with me, but they all gave me that look of "dude...we are waaaaay too cool. to go in there. with you." I gotta say, it was just okay. Some nice costumes and set pieces and video stuff. But, nothing spectacular. Not sure what I expected, maybe being beamed up or being able to play with a light saber. Now, that would have been cool! I keep it short, since it's kind of lame and they are waiting on me. We have to head back to the Grandparents house so the kids can shower and get ready before heading over to their house for the party. We are hungry and have the best meal leftovers ever. Post Thanksgiving turkey sandwiches! Yum! The tryptophan kicks in and I take the opportunity to nap. Lina awakens me with her beautiful piano playing. Hey, it's better than a car alarm or siren or loud people like in NYC. I sit out with her and watch this musical genius. I start yelling out songs that she has never played before. She starts singing and plucking out the keys and figures out how to play the songs within minutes. Did I mention she's only 13? Unbelievable. Finally, we all are ready to head over for the party. Stopping off on the way for some bar supplies. They wanted me to make some of my specialty cocktails and stuff. It's the least I could do, so hell's yeah!
Party people start arriving shortly after we get home. I made many a drink and people seemed to enjoy. Some other kids showed up with their parents. Not a huge crowd, but good size. Mark made these awesome pulled pork sandwiches, black bean dip, potato salad,etc. I am eating like a king over here! The kids decide to show some of the videos that they have made over the past year or so. Funny stuff. I can't believe how creative they are! They make me want to get back into teaching and working with kids. Especially since I don't even know where my own kids are located. I keep getting letters, but no luck yet! Although, my long lost daughter, 
Melaina, comes by and we take some pics and try to catch up on the 16 years of her life. I think we covered everything in 10 minutes. I'm no dead beat dad! 
Later on, Kristina (guitar/vocals), Christina (vocals) and her friend, Emily (cello) have a little jam session. Oh, not sure if I mentioned this. Their living room is filled with a huge sound board, a drum set, about 6 guitars, a keyboard, microphones and various other instruments. They sounded awesome! 
I got on the drum set and kept a beat on a song or 2. I didn't do half bad either! Soon after, more playing with the kids, some Texas Hold-Em with the adults and lots of chatting with both. Many a guest stayed over and I finally went to bed around 3 am or so. Didn't sleep too well. I'm in the basement guest room. Nice and quiet. Almost too quiet! I am so used to noise, I guess the peacefulness and serenity threw me off! Another big day ahead of me, so I eventually nod off.
DAY 4 (Saturday, 11/26): I wake up pretty late. Early afternoon. Everyone seems a bit groggy still. Even the kids. Mark is taking me to his club/concert venue today. It's a work day for him, but he wanted me to see it and experience the show later. I was sad to leave the kids, but really wanted to check the place out. I might even guest bartend as well! We leave the girls after 2pm and head over. The club is spacious. Huge concert area with nice sized stage. Of course, an amazing sound and lighting system. Separate bar area with tables. I loved the bar. Nice and big and plenty of room behind it. I meet a few of the workers there and hang out. Mark's got lots of stuff to do, so I just chill for a bit with these guys. Nice dudes and we have some good convo. I start drinking early and we decide that I wouldn't bartend since it might be too much of a hassle with the computer, not knowing glassware, etc. The place starts to fill up and get busy. The bands playing are all local. A couple of guys who work at the club are in the opening act. Then, Spike and the Impalers. They are comprised of a couple of local rock radio stars. Cover band, but I gotta say, they rocked! Mark took me around and showed me everything. Backstage, dressing room, green room, etc. The heroin and hookers were flowing. There was a slip and slide leading down the stairs into a mini pool of whiskey. Needless to say, I stayed there for quite some time. Okay, okay. None of that happened. Woulda been pretty freakin cool though. I go back to hang at the bar with Mark's brother, Nick, and his friends. There was a hot bartender named Jennifer working our side. We got to talking and hanging out a bit. All of my drinks were free, and believe me, I had plenty. I dropped a nice Ulysses S. GRANT on them and Jennifer had to do a double take. I guess people don't normally tip like that. I'm in the biz and I appreciate others who do it. I probably had much more than $50 in food and liquor, so it seemed fair. I asked Mark what Jennifer's story was and he said she likes women. Which only made her hotter.
The last band, Rail, was about to come on. Remember them? Nah, didn't think so. I actually did. Way back when MTV showed videos, they had a show called BASEMENT TAPES where they played an unsigned band's video. Whomever got the most votes or something, got a record contract. Rail won. That's all I remember. Apparently, they toured with and opened up for a lot of big groups, but never really made it big. So, we bounced. I professed my love to Jennifer. She is working the pre-game breakfast shift for the Seahawks/Giants game and we might go there in the morning for it. If so, she will be mine. Oh yes. We head home and the kids are still up. So, I hang with them and Christina for awhile until they all go to bed. At last! The computer to myself! Aren't you the lucky ones!
Tomorrow is my last day here. A friend of a friend had tickets to the game and invited me. I REALLY want to go, but I'd rather hang with the kids and the family. They have been ridiculously good to me. And could you say no to these faces? 
I graciously thanked the FOF (friend of friend) for the tickets. Curses! I'm so conflicted! I've never been to an NFL game before. But, not really my teams playing. Sure, I live in NYC, but I'm from Jacksonville. I'm a Jaguars fan! Okay, I need to hit the hay. Why do they call it hitting the hay? Wouldn't that just make you sneeze? And what if you hit the proverbial needle in the haystack? Then you'd be bleeding and sneezing. Who can sleep like that? I'm gonna go try. 1 day left, Seattle! Give me your best!
DAY 5 (Sunday, 11/27): Slept in a bit. Okay, a lot. Mark came in early to see if I wanted to go to the club for the pre-game breakfast. No way. Too tired. Erika came and woke me up in her own special way. Screaming, yelling, dancing, throwing things at me, etc. Gotta love her. Once again, I shot her. She's resilient though and survived! I slowly got going. Part of me regretted not going to the club for the breakfast so I could see my Seattle love, Jennifer. I'm sure she was so saddened by my absence and probably had to leave distraught. At least that's what I tell myself. 
Before we left, I said my good-bye to the other member of the family, Manny. She sat quietly and we had a moment. I think I'll miss her the most. Christie, Mia, Erika and I pile in the car to go to the mall. 
We pass by one of those Starbuck's coffee shops that I've heard so much about. It's a quick trip since we are just getting something for Dr. Naficy's birthday. 
Erika decides to take my wallet chain and chain herself to me. She's been doing this all week. So funny! We acted like I was her abusive father. The looks we got from other parents. It was priceless. Plus, I kept saying things like, "Don't make me lock you in the basement again!" or "I'll give you something to cry about young lady!" She totally played along and I think we had child services on our asses, but we were quick and escaped! Soon, we get to Christie's parents house and start chilling. Kristina and Lina are already there waiting on us. Mark got delayed at the club and couldn't make it. After the game, we start dinner. Dr. Naficy had cooked a traditional Persian meal. Lotsa food and all good! I am so spoiled now! I ate huge meals every night in Seattle and now I'm back to the prison slop they serve for family meals at work and ordering in at home. I may have to move back there soon! After dinner, we shot some commercials. Oh yeah. Remember how they shoot videos all of the time? Well, I wrote a couple of commercials for us to shoot. It was pretty funny! One was a take off of those poor children in need ads. It was called Lina's Sock Fund. This girl has holes in all of her socks. Thus the inspiration. The other was for a cereal called Sleepy-O's. You guessed it! It knocks the kids out! Erika and Lina were so damn funny. I wet myself yet again. Then, we decided to try to finish our own version of ALADDIN that we had started the other night. Back to being Jasmine again. Sigh. The kids had to go home soon, so we could only do half of it. Instead of filming it, we performed it live for Dr. & Mrs. Naficy, Christie and Kristina. Of course, we were brilliant and of course, they loved it! That frickin Erika. Comic genius. We ended it with our own lip synched version of "A Whole New World". Except Jasmine and Aladdin kept fighting while singing. Hey, it was funny to us! After the show, the kids had to go home and finish homework and get to bed for school the next day. 
The kids and I said our good-byes. Not too sad, but I will miss them a lot. Being a former teacher, I love kids and love being around them. No judgements and nothing but fun! Plus, it helped that these were really good kids. And, hey...they seemed to actually dig my company too! So there! I had another hour or 2 to kill before I had to catch my plane. I chilled with the family for awhile and then we headed to the airport. Plane boarded. Bye Seattle.
Now, I am jet-lagged like a mother! And I have to work later. Ugh. Happy to be back,but sad to leave. They made me feel like a part of their family and I really appreciate it! I have been debating a move out west for awhile now and I gotta say that Seattle is definitely a place I could live. Who knows? Well, you will because you come back every day to find out about me.
Last night was the 3rd show in our 4 show run of HomeGroan Sketch Comedy presents HomeGroan and the Goblet of Fire. We have hit our stride and the show is kick ass! I was worried because I came back from Seattle (see post below for story!) with a bit of a cold. My voice, or "the gift" as I like to call it, was not up to par. Hell, not even up to double bogey. I was cracking and screeching like Fran Drescher on crack when she screeches! Grrrrrrr. But, I over dosed on my Cyclone Cider and Singers Saving Grace tonics and hoped for the best. I ended up finding my voice, although it did almost stray on the high notes. We had a great show! What? You didn't see it? Well then you are stupid. Yes, I said it. Whatcha gonna do about it? Oh, you're gonna come to next week's show, the last one, to make up for it and prove you're not stupid? Go ahead! I dare you! Bring it, bitches! 
Finally, I am heading to Seattle for about 5 days with my friend, Christina. I have never been and can not wait. My flight is in 3 hours so I have to get out of the door pretty soon. And, no I haven't gone to bed yet. I am sure I will have some limited computer access, but probably not a lot. So, wont be able to post every day. Calm down. Just read some of the old ones. Laugh at the good old days! However, I might be able to post, so keep checking in! You may get lucky and read about my adventures as they happen. Oh to be so lucky. Cross your fingers. It could happen. 
Apparently, a lot of people have sex on Valentine's Day. Or VD, as I call it. And for good reason. I still apply generous amounts of lotion due to a VD tryst a couple of years ago. If you meet an Australian stewardess named Fiona, run. Trust me. Don't let that Qantas koala bear fool you! I'm not here to talk about that though. Unless you can help with the itching. 
Pat Murphy-Stark. The only reason I know her name is because she always announces it at the beginning of the ad. "Hi, I'm Pat Murphy-Stark." I DON'T CARE! I didn't know who you were before this aired and I don't want to know you now! Do the Invention Channel powers that be think that by identifying the actress it will endear us to her? This isn't a hostage situation, bitches! Although, I suppose by the time I reach to find the remote to change the channel, it can feel like one. 
The Fantanas. While at least they are cute to look at, that fucking song! Grrrrrr! No! I don't want a Fanta, I don't wanta, wanta Fanta! Well, I suppose I could just hit mute and watch. But the bright colors and stupid settings hurt my corneas. 
Recognize this guy? Yeah, that's Zimmer. He's that smug asshole who is on the Men's Wearhouse commercials. He's the CEO of the company. Hey, pal! You're no Dave Thomas from Wendy's! Though he too was quite disturbing after awhile. Zimmer narrates and is in every commercial. You know the ones. "You are on your way to work and a cab splashes you. (Shot of cab splashing guy in suit.) No time to go back home. Come into Men's Wearhouse and get a new suit cheap. We get you back to work on time. And give your old wet suit to our child workers in the basement to dry and resell." Once again, paraphrasing. Always ends with that tag, "You're gonna like how you look. I guarantee it." 
Orwell was a visionary. His classic book, 1984, told of a futuristic society where "Big Brother" sees all. Guess what folks? We're there. Look all around you. Cameras everywhere. Google maps can zoom in to just about any place. Computers can be accessed by anyone. Which leads to the title about Sony Music. This is a few weeks old, but is still big in the news. Sony Music BMG started putting root kits in their CD's. What's a root kit you ask? Perhaps what a tree surgeon carries with him when working on foliage? A "How-to" manual on making homemade root beer? A cheerleaders instruction booklet? BRING IT! No, no. None of the above. Let's let the fine people at 
Tonight is the opening night for HomeGroan Sketch Comedy presents HomeGroan and the Goblet of Fire. You know, that sketch show that I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. The Elvis picture has nothing to do with it. But, it says "Opening Night". So, I'm reaching. Get over it. Anyway, the show is tonight! HOLY CRAP! We probably need another rehearsal, will still be trying to find our light, lose costume pieces, be missing wigs, forget lines, trip, miss entrances, sing off key, or just forget to show up. Wait, no...that's not us. That's Saturday Night Live.