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January 18, 2006



I'm not a music scholar or a trained professional or anything, know those audition clips that they show in the commercials? Where they show ten seconds of someone singing, and then they cut to the judges saying either how great they are, or making some snide comment about how much they suck?

When I see those commercials, I honestly cannot tell whether I'm supposed to be impressed or embarrassed by their singing until I see the judges' reactions. Seriously. To me they all sound exactly the same in terms of shrillness, loudness, and...what's the word for when a person can't sing, and tries to cover it by doing that weird up-and-down-and-all-around thing with their voice? You know, the thing that Beyonce does in EVERY song?

And, honestly, Kelly Clarkson is the worst one. At least the other winners and runners-up have the decency to either disappear entirely or fully give themselves up to the cheesy Vegasity of the thing. But Kelly, you'll just keep making those records, won't you? Going on tv chat shows. Doing interviews. Being on SNL. Acting like you actually are a legitimate pop-idol (a wholly ridiculous concept in and of itself) and not some ersatz tv dog-and-pony novelty act to be pointed at and mocked.

(Not a fan, clearly.)


Wow. Your friend Mike really hates this show! I confess...I watch it! I can't help it. It's addicting!

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