The Final Word on Tipping

Tips. Gratuity. How many people in the service industry make a living. Apparently, I need to clear some things up. I was in a mini-argument last night with some guy about proper gratuity. I have been in the industry for around 15 years. Bartending for the last 12 or so with some waiting tables awhile back. I live in New York City. One of the most expensive cities to live in. That being said...

First, I didn't make the rules, people. I wish I did get a weekly check for the exact same amount that I could count on. Years ago ,someone decided a great way to save money for their business and this whole tipping thing just stuck. And, they make even more because the people being tipped have others that they have to tip out. As a bartender, I have a barback to tip out. Waiters have everything from busboys, food runners, maitre' d's, etc. to dole their hard earned cash out to. And, while we get a minimum wage, by the time we get our checks, they are absolutely $0 due to taxes. We are literally living off of our tips. And for that, we provide a service. Which I do quite well. I bust my ass doing it. Sure, I'm not always perfectly friendly. People can be assholes. I seriously doubt some 9-5er has to deal with the amount of assholes that I do on a daily basis at the bar. Drunk ones at that. And our days are longer. Not just that cushy 8 hour shift with an hour lunch break. Nope. Anywhere from 10-12 hours without a break. That being said...

I thought I would be helpful to a group of people that meet up monthly for drinks and eats by explaining procedures of gratuity. It was well received by most. I explained how 20% is the norm now, not 15%. Things like, if you get free stuff, leave extra. If you take up space for a long time, leave extra. Simple suggestions. Some of these people don't go out like I do and perhaps might not know. I was just trying to educate in a plain and nice way. Some guy decided to link a website about "how to tip". A website. I check it out and it's completely generalizing all over the place. Saying 15% was normal and only 20% on parties of 6 or more. Others agreed that it could be the norm in other cities or states. But, NOT in NYC. I conceded that. All good, yeah? So, this guy keeps pushing the issue. I kept trying to be light-hearted,but he kept pushing. Saying something about his "brother was a waiter." And then attacking me by saying "maybe I'm biased for higher tips since I've been in the industry for such a long time." And then, he fucking links to wikipedia about tips. Yeah, wikipedia. That oh so reliable online encyclopedia. The one that advertises "the free encyclopedia that ANYONE can edit." Wow! He's got amazing sources! That and the "biased" comment set me off. I kind of attacked back saying how he should get a separate bill so we aren't covering him. Of course, he bit back with sarcasm saying how he takes care of his bills all the time. Funny, how someone who has NEVER waited a table or bartended in his life is such an expert on tipping. And, if he's so into quoting websites (it must be true if you read it online!), I have a more credible one. From New York Magazine. You know, the magazine about New York and New Yorkers!

"This may come as a surprise to some, but the old standard of 15 percent for servers hasn't been standard for some time now. The Zagat Survey began asking people about their tipping habits a couple of years ago and found that the average restaurant tip in major U.S. cities is just over 17 percent. That means doubling the tax to figure your tip leaves you on the chintzy side. (New Yorkers aren't the most generous tippers in the country. Although we beat the national average, Philadelphia's 18.5 percent puts us to shame.) Bartenders are a different story. The point of tipping bartenders isn't so much to reward the service you've already received as to insure promptness (supposedly the seventeenth-century English origin of the word: t.i.p.) the next time you order a round. Expectations vary: A buck a drink is generous at the Blarney Stone, an insult at the Bowery Bar. "At dive bars, they make great money, because they're banging out drinks," explains Rich, a bartender at Lotus. "But at a place like this, it's more about presentation, so it takes longer." Rich concedes that a dollar is okay if you're ordering a Bud, but for a $10 Cosmopolitan, the fair tip is $2 or $3."

See? A NEW YORKER with experience and research wrote this piece. Anyway, I just didn't get why this guy was haggling over what is essentially a few dollars more out of his pocket. Yeah, I roll high and tip 30% or more every time. Sometimes 50%. I don't expect others to do that. This dude obviously has a budget. I respect that. The couple of times we've shared a bill with others, I saw him meticulously calculating his total. Leaving, what I assume, exactly 15%. Wow. He obviously felt guilty when I first mentioned all of my helpful tip hints. Ergo, the defensiveness. Seriously, an extra few dollars is going to kill you? Someone else emailed in suggesting to budget better. If you have $10, get something that is $7. That way with tax and gratuity, it should come out to $10. Not exactly accurate, but he had a good idea with it. Just because you're cheap doesn't mean the server/bartender should suffer.

The cost of living is always rising. Rents are going up. Food costs more. Existing costs more. Inflation. All that crap. Yet, I'm to accept that the standard tip should just stay at 15% while everything else rises. BULLSHIT! And, yes, I realize there are probably many people much worse than him. They can all eat it. Or drink it. Just not at my bar.

My first reaction to being confronted or challenged is to kick someone's ass. That's the old me. The old me that went to jail for fighting and stuff. Well, fighting and drug dealing and grand theft and prostitution. I don't want to talk about it. Anyway, I'm trying not to be as ghetto and to rise above it all. So, I let it go. Kind of. But, if Cheapy McNotipper keeps it going, then it's on! I love how people are all big and tough on line,but in person are big, fat pussies. Like my neighbor's cat. What did you think I meant? I warn ya, roll up on me like that, and I'll shank ya. Or stank ya. Or skank ya. Trust me, you don't wanna be skanked. She hasn't bathed in months!

Bottom line, bitches. The final word on tipping:

1. 20% or more whether in a group or flying solo. Nothing less, ya cheap asses!
2. If you take up a table(s) for an extended period and especially if you aren't consuming much, then leave extra out of consideration. (You're basically renting the space then anyway!)
3. If you have to leave early, make sure you know how much to leave. Don't just drop a $5 and say "That should cover it." Punks.
4. Take getting free stuff into consideration. Leave extra! Or else it will never happen to you again.

Seems like common sense, no? You'd be surprised at the amount of ignorance. As a good friend said last night about this whole debate, "Always err on the side of generosity." He's right. If anything, make someone else happy, even though you lead a miserable life yourself. Don't take it out on them! Drop them Benjamin's, baby!

And, lest you forget...we're alone with your drinks. You're food. Fuck with us at your own peril!

Of course, it's not fair. We all know I budget according to lap dances. "Hmm...well that cost 3 lap dances. Okay, I'll get it!" And lap dances are $20. That's a lot of scratch. Well, that is, if you get the right girl. And we all know, I usually do.

Good night everyone! Tip your bartenders and waitresses!

Comments

[ZiggyNJ]

I really don't know why he wouldn't let the topic drop. I am going to try and get my own tab running this week. That way I know I am putting in my fair amount. I am going to ask as soon as I walk in. I feel bad that we take up so much space for so long and then people get cheap on them. They are really nice there.

[holly]

I can't believe there are still people out there who don't know how to tip. For that matter, don't know how to act!