"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, I ALREADY MET HER?!!"
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Not only do I find out I have a sister, but I've apparently met her. Unbelievably stunned by yet another revelation from my dad, I gathered myself and tried to get more information out of him. Yes, I was still quite livid. I tried to reason and suppress the anger so I could find out exactly what he was talking about. It wasn't easy, but I held it in as best I could. Calmly, I reposed myself and asked the obvious question.
"When did I meet her?"
He thinks for a moment. Certainly not to carefully soften any blows, but I think just to find the right words in English.
"Remember when I drove you and Bobby up to Virginia?"
Now, let me go back a bit. My mom and dad got divorced when I was 4. He stayed in Virginia and my mom, brother Bobby and I moved down to Jacksonville, Florida to live with our grandparents. Dad would come down once a year and visit. My mom showed how gracious she could be and would let dad stay with us. He would always call on the birthdays and the holidays. No internet back then, kids! We actually wrote letters to him and he would send us cards and always had money for us. He seemed to sarcastically say to us every time he bought us something, "Are you happy now?". I remember that because he always said it. Well, gotta say, that's all he became good for. Money. He didn't have a lot, but gave when needed or wanted. I certainly couldn't go to him for anything else. He didn't understand a lot and there was no way I could relate to him or him to me. I remember being excited that daddy was coming to visit. But, then feeling so let down when he got there. I don't remember playing with him or talking with him or even just generally hanging out. Go ahead, all of you budding therapists. No father figure in my life, dad never around, etc. Blah, blah.
Anyway, on one of dad's trips down to Florida, it was decided ahead of time that he would take Bobby and I back up to Virginia. He had a friend with him. A Filipino guy named Carlos. I really wasn't sure why Carlos was around. He seemed to be my dad's man servant. Like he was in his employ. Maybe he was. I really don't know. Carlos was a nice guy, so it was all good. Now, at this time, I was probably around 14, making my brother 17. We drove from Jacksonville to Norfolk, Virginia in about a day. We stayed in Norfolk for a week with dad. Once again, don't remember much about it except for specific things. I had a friend named Mike who was raised in Virginia, but had moved to Jacksonville in his teen years. We had classes together and then his family moved back to Virginia. So, it was cool to see him up there.
Then, one day, we went over to someone's house. A lady named Valerie. Memory is fuzzy,but I remember meeting this little girl. Probably about 8 years old. Whatever. Seemed like a nice kid. My dad says to me.
"You should keep in touch with her."
Why? Why would I keep in touch with some little 8 year old that I met for a day in Norfolk, Virginia? I mean, I love little kids and all, but I didn't want to be a pen pal with a little girl. It just seemed weird. I got a couple of pictures of her,which I'm sure my dad asked her to send. Hey, when you're a little kid, you just go with the flow a lot.
Those are the 2 pics I got. Cute kid. I think she probably wrote a letter too. On the back of one pic was simply the date. On another, it said, "I love Jimmy." Clearly her handwriting and clearly told to write that. As I said, I barely met her. I'm sure I wrote back once just to be nice, but had no intention of keeping up with the correspondence. And I didn't.
I never thought of her much, if at all, after that summer. I was in high school and was living the life! I was extremely busy in school. Not just with academics,but after school clubs and stuff. Being President of Student Government kept me busy! Yes, I threw that in there to brag. My presidency accomplished about as much as the current national administration. As I said, it was my senior year! Parties every weekend!
Graduation comes in 1987 and my dad comes down for one last time before heading back to the Philippines to live for good. He was here for a few days and that was that. I figured I'd write on occasion. Yes, for money. But, it wasn't that big of a deal that he was going for good. I never saw him that much anyway.
A year or 2 later, my college chorale took a trip to New York City. My 2nd time up there. I had been there the summer of '86, I believe. Another trip with dad. His sister, my aunt Tessie, was living in Queens and we all went to stay with her. I met my Filipino cousins from Canada and we had a blast. Saw Cats and did all of the touristy stuff. This trip up, I had a plan. I was going to meet aunt Tessie and ask her if I could come stay with her in a few years so I could pursue my acting career. We met up and had lunch. She agreed! I was gonna live in New York City!
It wasn't until the summer of '93 that I made the decision to move. I called aunt Tessie and she said it would be fine. She was living in New Jersey, but insisted that getting into the city was easy by bus or train. So, in January of '94, I moved up here. I stayed with aunt Tessie for about 9 months and then found a place in Queens. The first of many. Let's just say I could write a book and call it SUBLET KING!
Which brings us up to the current situation. Dad telling me I had already met my sister. As you have no doubt surmised, the little girl in Virginia was Marsha. I had completely disregarded my own sister! Sure, I didn't know we were related at the time. It didn't make me feel any better. Now I knew that I had met Marsha. And I wanted to meet her again. Desperately so. Dad had "misplaced" her, so he was no help. All I had to go on was her name, her age and where she last lived.
Marsha Jean Rose. Born July 2nd, 1977. Last living in Norfolk, Virginia.
I was sick to my stomach with rage and consternation. My mind was in a tumult of anger and disbelief. Yet, there was hope. And happiness. I have a sister. A baby sister.
I HAVE A SISTER!
This was life changing. That is, if I could find her. The search began.
...to be continued.
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