I awake on Sunday to birds singing, breakfast in bed and 3 lovely ladies waiting to bathe me. And that they did. I wont say who, but let me just say....THANK YOU! I stroll downstairs and outside to a cacophony of screams for my name. Just like in the bedroom. Oh yeah. It was 10:30 a.m. That's early for me, bitches! Apparently, everyone had been up since the crack of the crack they were smoking, had breakfast and everything!
After greeting everyone, I was off to the races! It was time for Santano (cue Spanish guitar) and I to rekindle our friendship that we had developed over a month ago when I last visited the farm. And, yes, people. He's a horse. Not a pony! Shauna says they are all horses! So, take that Kristin and Emily! Of course, we were riding and jumping and skinning down the river for hours. I had to start setting up the auction, so I had to take Santano (Spanish guitar again) back. I'll miss you most of all, boy!
First, we had lunch. Burgers and dogs, but no Bao. We had devoured it all the previous day. Then, it was off for some Firefly Jeopardy and charades. Well, at least for everyone else. I recruited Mike and Carmen to help me set up for the auction. Shauna set up tables outside on the porch and we started stacking all of the items on there. And, did you see that list? It was A LOT of stuff. To top it off, Rob brings in a stack of old comics and books that were added to the pile as well. I had to rush upstairs to type it out since I already had a master list ready. All good though. After setting up, I had Carmen act as my assistant. She would write the item down, winning bidder and final bid. Everyone had paper plates with numbers on them to make it easier. We lined up the chairs, people gathered around, and we got ready for the auction.
Did I mention it was 100 degrees? Yeah, it was hotter than a whore on nickel night. I was already sweating all up in my area. Shauna had graciously set up the umbrella on the porch so that I and the items would not get sun drenched. Ryan came up to say a few words about his childhood friend, Brighid, that we were holding the auction for. He explained the disease, PXE, a little and encouraged everyone to bid heavily so that we could help in some way. If you remember, the whole purpose of the auction, after covering minimal party costs, was to benefit Brighid Moret and the PXE organization. Both, worthy reasons to bid and give. After Ryan spoke, I said a few words about how I was going to proceed and then we were ready!
People were already sweating and hot and quite a few stayed under the shade since they weren't bidding. Really? Nothing was interesting in that huge list? Huh. Or they were just boiling and heat exhaustion set in. First up, I went for the big stuff. A Flanvention ticket. I started the bids at $50. People balked, or so it seemed. Finally, the plates started rising and we got up to almost half the ticket worth. I could see that this was not going to be a million dollar money maker. Which I understood. We ain't millionaires! I heard someone shout out something about selling it on eBay to encourage bidders. Actually, I sincerely hope that doesn't happen. If they make more money for it on eBay, then they're the ones benefiting, not Brighid and the charity. Unless they sell it and send the profit off to the charity, then all good! After a few more items and literally 10-15 minutes into it, Shauna came out and moved everyone inside. It was too hot. We were starting to lose people from the heat. Some I had to bury in the barn with the horses. Wait...this can't be used in a court of law, can it?
After we moved in, I tried to keep things rolling along, but I could tell people were hot and cranky. Just like that stripper I left in the closet before I left. What a complainer! Some items were hotter than others and went for a surprising amount. I had contemplated holding on to some big items and holding another mini auction in NYC where pockets are deeper and I'm sure I could get a big crowd. But, we were moving along as quick as possible. Plus, I didn't really want to have to worry about taking stuff back with me and organizing yet another event. So, a lot of the stuff went for a steal. $80 bottles of scotch for $20, 2 off Broadway show tix for $50, etc. While I was disappointed for Brighid's sake, I think it was cool that people were able to get such nice items at a more affordable price. My original goal of selling stuff for at least 3/4 the value was nixed.
So many items to auction, we started losing more people. That heat was unbearable! I almost ran away myself. Finally, we wrapped it all up and Carmen started collecting money and passing out items. I helped get all of the stuff finalized and as I got an idea of the total count, I sort of cringed. It was not near my goal at all. Granted, my goal was a bit lofty. I had even lowered my original expectation of $5000 to half of that. I took it all in at once and had to walk away. I went up to the guest room where I stayed and just sat there.
What did I do wrong? How did we not raise that much money? What could I have changed to make it better? Why did it have to be so damn hot? Why weren't more people bidding? Did I fuck everything up? How could I save face with Brighid?
As I sat there, I tried to think positively. Well, it was something. We raised some money and raised awareness to a relatively unknown disease. Still, I was disappointed and frustrated. I had put so much work into this for months. Organizing, seeking out donations, collecting them, emails, calls, follow ups, badgering friends for favors, etc. Of course, I realized that I have serious control issues. I should have delegated and asked for help much earlier in the game. So much work for so little. I'm not trying to martyr myself or gain any kudos. I know people appreciated it. I just felt like I failed and had let down Brighid and the PXE organization.
I guess what frustrated me the most was the lack of bidding. Those that bid, bid well and spent some money. Even some that didn't bid, at least threw in $20 or more just to donate. That was totally cool and I greatly appreciate it! Made sense to me! If nothing interested you, then at least give to the fund. Even if the auction was just covering costs like previous years, that's a worthy enough cause to give alone. Shauna and Kristin open up their home and farm to us and are overly gracious hosts. Add in that it's for a worthy charity, a friend of a fellow Browncoat, and it should be a rocking event! Everyone brought some sort of food or drink item. I just didn't think it was that big of a deal to ask for a little more. Apparently, some people did and didn't give and just bounced. Wow.
Sorry, this is the part where I rant. I just didn't get it. Times are tough. I realize that. But, if we could afford to get away for a weekend, then we could afford to give to a worthy cause. Don't have that extra drink when you're out. Don't go to that movie. Sacrifice some small item in your life! I realize we don't all budget like I do. By lap dance. "Hmmm...that's $60. Well, that's 3 lap dances at Hustler Club...I can swing that!" Well, you get my meaning. I mean, I even had some of my bar customers donate money. I came home to a check for $50 from one of my regulars. A wife and mother of 3! I'm not pointing fingers here and I certainly understand life expenses. So, don't be hatin' on me for the opining that I am doing here!
Don't get me wrong here. Yes, it was an overwhelming undertaking. I had never run a charity auction before. I learned a lot. Made mistakes. Yet, as I was doing it, as stressful as it may have gotten at a certain point...I really enjoyed it. I was able to secure some really good donations, raise awareness and made a good friend out of it in Brighid. So, yes. I'll be back to do another in some way. Maybe not with this group or maybe so. We just gotta see what happens! I'll just delegate better!
After people gathered their items, the departures began. We all gave our love and people gathered in their cars and headed out. Jason, Pris and I stayed around with the other Jason. We just sort of decompressed from the whole weekend. Had a lovely talk with Shauna about everything. Kristin and I threw the football around. You all missed a great moment! I threw it over a bush and Brainiac Kristin went for it and fell down the hill on her ass! We collectively peed our pants. Shauna probably laughed the hardest and gave that look, "I can't believe that's my child." Yes, she was okay. Which made it all the funnier. We ordered a couple of pizza's and just chilled. It was a nice relaxing way to end the weekend!
I know everyone was expecting the big Montana West bull riding story. Did I mention the 100 degree heat? Yeah. We were not into it. We gathered our stuff and jumped in Jason's car to head back to the big city. Confident that we had a fun and successful shindig!
Thank you to everyone who bid and/or donated money and items. After much thought, I realize that whatever we could raise is great. The approximate total came to around $1300. Still waiting on a couple of the corporate folk who are trying to get their donations matched, so that number could get a few hundred dollars higher! I can't thank everyone individually, but I'm gonna point a few out. Don't feel bad if you get left out. It inevitably always happens! Don't you watch award shows? Thanks to:
- Ryan and Courtney. For bringing Brighid and this charity to our attention.
- Shauna. For allowing us into your home and farm and tolerating all of us. For being the cookout Queen. For all around coolness.
- Kristin. For organizing the whole shindig. Hopefully, this year you didn't have to run around too much.
- Priscilla. For co-filking with me! And for being one of the coolest nerdy chicks I know!
- Mike. For helping to organize the auction items and for coming! Glad I convinced you!
- Carmen. For acting as my auction assistant. Going so far as typing up the list for me when you returned home. Rock on.
- Jason. For swinging into NYC and driving us. Big help!
- Suze. For the Bao, the talks and overall coolness that is you.
- Sami. For joining us directly after your graduation! Congrats!
- Emily for joining us geeks and not making too much fun! We'll have to get those matching Harleysville t-shirts next time!
- Santano (cue Spanish guitar) for not bucking me.
- Everyone else just for being there and having fun!
Rocking weekend, folks. I had a blast. I apologize if I came across a bit down after the auction. I was just disappointed. Still, we raised money and awareness. So, all good in the hood!
See you all next year!
Over there is a pre-auction picture from the charity auction held on June 18th. Chairs set up, tables, etc. Where's everyone at? Well, it was 100 degrees and they were all to the right under the shade of the trees. And, I know what you're thinking. Isn't all of this auction stuff over? Yes and no. I was awaiting some checks from bidders and wanted to send all the money in at once. I got them all this week, filled out the proper form, attached a cover letter (below) and sent it off to PXE International. Do me a favor. Heck, do yourself a favor. Click on the link above to go to the PXE site. Learn about it. Educate people. Raise awareness. Donate if you can. My lovely auction assistant, Carmen, left a message on the shindig message boards that she is letting people know about PXE any chance she gets. As am I. Sure, there are many diseases out there. Many that are much more life threatening. It doesn't hurt to let people know about this little known disease. 
