My Comic-Con Story, Part 1

I'm back safe and sound from the San Diego Comic-Con! You've all been salivating at your keyboards awaiting my story. I told you not to do that! You're keyboard gets all wet and gooey. Of course, that could be from more than saliva. (Collective "Ewwwww!"). My loyal readers know I have the gift of gab. For you newbies, one thing to remember about me. My autobiography will be titled: More Loquacious Than Laconic: Loving the Sound of Your Own Voice (In 12 Volumes.) So, get a drink, sit back and enjoy the ride. Also, while I'll have random pics here and there, you can see all 200 of the ones I took over there in my photo album. I've a feeling you can figure out which one. If you can't. Then you're stupid and need to be put down. Just call me. I'll gladly help.

Tuesday, July 18th: I arrive in San Diego after a night of work and no sleep. And had only about 4 hours of sleep in 2 days. Elsa, my showmance from the Selena Forever tour way back in the day, picks me up and we head back to her place. My podcast partner, Joe, was not arriving until late Thursday, so I stayed with Elsa the first couple of days. I drop my bags off and my buddy, Cassaday, calls. Yes, John Cassaday. That one. His plane arrived early. We had planned on doing lunch and Elsa graciously agreed to drive us around. We pick him up from his hotel and head straight for...

That's right. In-N-Out! Home of the Double-Double. And did we double it up! We had talked about that being our first stop for weeks now. For those that don't know, this is the best burger joint ever. Period. John and I devoured our basket of burgers as Elsa watched incredulously. Eating her grilled cheese. Whaddya want? She's a model.

Elsa then drives us over to La Jolla. Why it's pronounced "La Hoya", I'll never understand. Just like I don't understand why Texans pronounce Houston as "Hewsten" instead of the correct New York City way of "Houseton." Anyway, it was freakin beautiful. We went to the beach and saw a seal beach. Apparently, the seals just thought it was a cool place to lay out and took over. And we puny humans can do nothing about it! Beware. I think these seals are aliens trying to take over the world. Starting with our beaches. Don't let their laziness fool you! They are plotting. Or just sleeping. I always get those mixed up. After observing nature, we head towards some bars on the beach. First, I call Joe up and we record a quick Pre-Comic-Con show via phone. Elsa was driving and kept piping in and John kept calling to interrupt. They couldn't mess up my flow though! After I sign off, we hit a bar on the beach and start with the drinking! It's never too early. The bar hopping starts and we hit a few dive joints.

My ghetto girl, Diana, former co-worker who lives back out in SD, meets up with us. We hit the Strip Club for dinner. I know what you're thinking. An odd place for eats! But, between lap dances, those ladies can cook! Nothing better then watching a girl spin around a pole while making your macaroni & cheese! Okay, you got me. It wasn't that type of joint. It's a place called The Strip Club Steak House. It looks like a gentleman's club. And we all know I know what those look like. However, it's a steak joint where you cook your own food on the grill. Awesome stuff! We got some wine and ate up! More drinks followed and we finally called it a night around 2. Props to Elsa for hanging that late. She's not a big drinker or partier, but she hung in there with us pros! I couldn't believe I lasted as long as I did with the little sleep that I had gotten. But, the party genes awaken at night! Elsa and I head back to her crib for some much needed sleep.

Wednesday, July 19th: I slept in and felt nerdily invigorated. This night was preview night. An extra special day to get in early if you bought a 4 day pass. My nerdgasms were already starting. I get to the convention center around 5:15 or so. I had been in touch with Lynn, one of the SoCal Browncoats. What's a browncoat? People who like wearing coats that are brown! Kind of. They are what the fans of Firefly and Serenity are called. The former being Joss Whedon's short lived TV show and the latter being the movie. Just go watch it! I'm tired of telling you already! You will be turned.

The preview night didn't start until 6 p.m.,but I was going to go in early since I had brought some donations for the charity raffle that the California Browncoats were having. Lynn met me outside and handed me a temporary pass to get me in before 6. Sweet! Yeah, needless to say, Lynn rocks! I walked around the practically empty floor. Well, except for the hundreds of exhibitors. Still, the floor was easy to walk through and I had about a good 20 minutes of uninhibited strolling. Then, at 6:05, the floodgates opened! Literally, thousands poured in. I did most of my shopping this night. Buying several books, shirts, etc. Didn't go crazy, but still managed to spend a gajillion dollars. I need to stop budgeting by lap dance. "Hmmmm...well, that costs $80. 4 lap dances. Okay, sold!" I spent a couple of hours there and finally left around 8 to meet Cassaday and friends for dinner. Red Pearl Kitchen. If you're in SD. GO! Good food, lots of sake and fun had by all. Hit the Hyatt and met a ton of comic book creators. Judd Winnick, Jimmy Palmiotti, Adam Kubert, and Kyle Baker among others. It was closing in on 2 a.m. Early for a New Yorker like me,but Elsa still had to come pick me up. I showed mercy and called it a night.

Thursday, July 20th: I took my time getting there since there weren't many panels that I was interested in hitting. I decided to meet Cassaday for lunch at his hotel. As we're sitting there, he tells me to look over my shoulder. About 4 tables back. Stan Fuckin' Lee! Yes, that's his real middle name. I think. At least that's what my inner monologue said. If you don't know who Stan Lee is then I'm going to have to kick you in the baby maker. Or kick your baby. 1 of the 2. Or both. Depends on how surly I'm feeling. Okay, I'll be nice. Stan Lee helped create Marvel Comics and most of their core group of characters. 'Nuff said, as he so famously coined years ago. Nowadays it's just, "EXCELSIOR!" I have no idea what that is supposed to mean, but hey....it's Stan the Man! He could say, "Fiddlesticks & Fried Bat Balls!" for all I care. Hmm...not a bad little saying. Maybe that will be my sign off from now on.

A friend of Cassaday's named Jenny joined us. I had hung out with her a bit the night before. Very cool, smart and funny girl. Of course, we started drinking. She had a margarita and they left the shaker to pour any remaining goodness. It seemed to be the endless shaker, as she poured several times. The waiter had warned to hold on to the top when pouring. By the 3rd pour, I guess she had forgotten and the whole thing fell into her glass. Yep, that's the shot up there. We laughed at her for hours until she balled up and cried. And by that, I mean she was a great sport about it and laughed right along.

We enter the con and Elsa's doing the whole booth babe thing for some random company. That's her with the blue hair. Run into a friend, Deric, who was there promoting his comic book, Living In Infamy. He introduces us to his friend Jason Lewis. Cool cat and we hang for awhile, walking around checking things out. Deric whispers in my ear that he was on Sex and the City. Seeing as how I've seen maybe 1 episode of that show, I had no clue how big a role he had and didn't recognize him from any other shows or movies. Jason and I are chilling and he says, "Hey, want to meet my girl?" Of course, I agree and we walk over to a booth. As we walk up, I notice Rosario Dawson signing autographs at this big booth. Jason leads us behind the tables and approaches Rosario. "Jimmy, this is my girl, Rosario." WHOA! WHAT THE FUCK? His girl is Rosario Dawson?! Yep. She sure is! We all chatted for awhile. She was so cool and down to earth. Jason gave me his email and got my info so we could hang whenever they are in NYC. 2 really cool and genuine peoples! Naturally, had Jason not been there and they weren't together, she would have immediately fell in love with me. I did notice her checking my badonkadonk out. Hey, it's a nice one.

After more walking the con, I cab over to the Bayview Suites in National City. About 5 miles from the convention center. Looks nice, doesn't it? Looks can be deceiving! Di had forewarned me that National City was called Nasty City because of it's ghetto-ness. Joe wasn't getting in until much later, so I wanted to check in and drop my bags off.  I get there and it was mos def a ghetto area. Liquor store, liquor store, gun store, liquor store and chicken shack. I'm barely exaggerating here. I get my room key and head up. Key doesn't work. Back down. I get another room on another floor. Key works! I walk in and it smells like hooker's ass on dollar night. The light switch doesn't work. It's cheap looking. It's not dirty, but it just feels dirty. Whatever, I'm just there to sleep anyway. On my way back down, there was no down button for the elevator. And, what a deceptive name. Bayview Suites. There was no bay. No view. And certainly no view of no bay! And they certainly weren't suites. They were barely rooms. Anyway, I grab a cab and head back to the Gaslamp District.

I grab some eats and hit the Hyatt. The crowds had shown up! The previous night, it was just us and a bunch of comic book guys hanging out. This night saw hundreds of people crowded into the 2 lobby bars. Ran into a few people and eventually moved upstairs to the other bar. Yeah, the 2 girls in the pic were part of my posse. Their names? Does it matter? As long as they aren't "Baby Mama", then we all good! More drinking and we moved back downstairs to the other bars.

We noticed these 2 girls walking around. They were there the night before. 1 was a tall blonde. Pretty smokin' too! I could only get a backside shot in this pic. She seemed to be hanging out with a bunch of fat comic book fanboys. Which immediately led us to believe she was working. Yep, we were right. The other girl told 1 of our friends that they were "adult entertainers." Which could mean anything. They're adults. And they entertain. Were they fire breathers? Jugglers? Mimes? Fire breathing jugglers who mime? I guess I'll never know. More drinking in a friend's room until the wee hours. Way too much drinkage. Joe had arrived around midnight,but went straight to the hotel to sleep. I stumble in and pass out on the couch. Anxious to attend the con, but not looking forward to the hangover in the morning. But, like my Aunt Edna always said, "Don't do the crime if you can't do the time." Of course, she was a bank robber, but I got her meaning. A better saying from my other aunt was, "If you play, you pay." Hmmm...maybe not. She was a hooker. Thoughts of crazy aunts led me off to sleep. Or maybe just the insane amounts of bourbon. Tomorrow's another...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

...to be continued.

Comments

[mike.]

Oh, how I do miss the In-N-Out. Their burgers and shakes are good enough to forgive all the little Bible verses printed on the cups and napkins. Have to say that I never really liked their fries, though - people love them, but I always found them a little dry and mealy. But the burgers and shakes! Did you just call your Aunt Edna a whore?

[ZiggyNJ]

If you get Rosario can I have her husband?

Great interviews on the podcast, can't wait to hear the rest!