Remember this candy bar? It was always a fave of mine as a kid. I am mos def and chocolate freak. To get me to try something else besides chocolate was always a daunting task. So, when I started digging Bit-O-Honey, it was a big deal that I wasn't eating chocolate. In my old age, I prefer the dark chocolate over the milk. Like my man Tupac says, "The blacker the berry, the sweeter the juice!" He must have really liked berries. To emphasize my chocolate-itis, here's a little flashback.
I was about 10 and was playing in the yard. My grandfather had one of those work trucks with a metal lift on the back. The lift was up and I ran right into the corner of it. Splitting my head open. (I still have a scar.) I was bleeding and crying profusely. My granny couldn't get me to calm down. Her and my mom tried everything. Then, granny whispered in my ear. "If you stop crying, I'll get you some chocolate." Yep. Tears stopped immediately. Behold! The power of chocolate!
Back to the Bit-O-Honey. What? I digress all of the time. You're not used to that by now? The only bit of honey I wanted to take a bite out of lately was Jessica Alba. Get it? She was in the movie, Honey? Playing a character called Honey? Anyone? I even provided the poster over there so you'd get it. Sheeeesh. What more do you want?!
Anyway, I recently found a local deli that had Bit-O-Honey. I bought about 5 bars. Some good stuff! My only complaint. In the many years they've been around, they still haven't made it easier to the candy off of that damn wax paper! Inevitably, there is always some waxiness on a few pieces. But, like a good crack addict, I'll keep coming back for more. Oh, how I'll come back for more.
Send money. Send Jessica Alba. But, definitely....send some Bit-O-Honey.
Random Bit-O'-Honey memory: in the late 70s there was a commercial for the candy where some circus performer, either a rope-walker or a trapeze guy, gets really nervous on the platform so, to stall for time, he puts a piece of the candy in his mouth, and everyone in the audience has to wait forever and ever and ever for him to finish it. My brothers and I were like, cool! A candy that lasts forever (or at least a freakishly long amount of time)! And we were so excited when we found some in our Halloween bags later that year. We each unwrapped a piece and put it in our mouths at the same time so that we could simultaneously experience what we were convinced would be a good hour (at least!) of everlasting candy goodness.
Wow, were we disappointed. The little fuckers were gone in less time than it takes to unwrap a Tootsie Roll.
I died a little bit that day, and the lessons I've learned from that experience continue to influence basically every single aspect of my life today.
Posted by: mike. | August 11, 2006 at 10:41 AM