Jimmy's Juke Joint

Ticket Treasures

As you know, I went to Dave & Buster's recently to celebrate the birthday of my friend, Kristin. Yes, we're 10. Eat it, bitches! As you can see, I did so much better than she did when it came to winning tickets! By the end of the our time there, we turned our tickets in and had approximately 900 "points". Yeah. Take that! So, we go into the store to see what's available. Of course, anything good costs a gazillion points. There were some cheap Nerf footballs, candy, pencils, Chinese fingercuffs, key chains, etc.

Big time items were video games, a mini jukebox, phones, and a blender. Yes, a blender. I wonder if there's that one family out there who is honing their Skee Ball skills in hopes of winning this culinary prize. Not realizing that they could buy 20 blenders with all of the money they spend on the games. Curse you Dave & Buster's with your clever marketing ploy!

What did I spend my points on? Some gum, a cap and....hmmmm...what else? Oh yeah. A hooker, a shower and some curly fries. I didn't have enough for the ketchup though.

Anyone want to meet me back there to win more tickets? I need to win my hooker that STD test.

CNI 52

Comic News Insider: Episode 52 will be available at 9 a.m. for free download! Click on the link or get it through iTunes. You know the drill by now. And if you don't, then learn it! Just saying and all that jazz.

Today is what we in the business call a "filler." No, not like a fluffer in that other type of business. We were unable to record last night and had to pre-record this episode last week. That means no reviews or news or even Top 3. Take a breath! It will be alright. We'll be back next week with a fully loaded episode! And do we have lots to talk about. But don't think this is a throw away episode either! We have a great interview with voice over artists, Yuri Lowenthal and Tara Platt. Yeah, that's them. Awww...how cute!

And, yes, they are a couple in real life. A couple of what? I don't know. Oh wait...voice over artists! In video games and cartoons alike including Halo 2, Call of Duty, Prince of Persia, Legion of Super-heroes, Naruto, Digimon, Robotech, etc. Interesting stuff in the life of a voice over artist!

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Jimmy Aquino Hates the Virgin Mary

Sensationalistic headlines to grab readers attention have been an age old trick in journalism. I call it sloppy journalism. Think The New York Post or any tabloid out there. And the latest purveyor of such genius is AOL. Why I still have them as my web browser is beyond me. Just out of pure laziness, I suppose. I've had AOL since the beginning and like a crazy psycho ex-girlfriend, they just wont go away. Always there.

If you are familiar with AOL, then you know that they have "news" on their home page. Top stories in different categories, if you will. Today had a couple of ridiculous headlines.

Biting the Hand That Fed Her: Meredith Calls "The View" a Joke

Holy crap! Meredith Viera is dissing the show she was on for 9 years! What does she have to say? What's the big gossip? The scoop? Well, click on their link and it takes you to the story. That story has a link to the true story. Of course, the quote was completely out of context. She meant the media's treatment of how her former show has been going through problems lately. There was even a disclaimer from the editorial staff.

Seems Like a Bad Idea: Emmy Award Winner Slams God

This is even more stupid. The link takes you to an article about Greg Garcia's acceptance speech. He's the producer/writer of NBC's hit sitcom, My Name Is Earl. Instead of thanking everyone, he jokingly disses his former teachers for saying he wouldn't amount to anything. And his God dis? "And finally God. I am sure you are responsible in some way, but you took my hair and that's not cool man."  Yeah, that's it. He totally gave it to God. Oh snap!

Next time you see stupid headlines like this. Don't buy the paper. Don't click on the link. Don't pick up that magazine while waiting in line at the Food Emporium for 20 minutes when all you have is a box of macaroni and cheese and a 2 liter bottle of Wild Cherry Pepsi and the person in front of you has clearly way over 10 items and coupons and change to count and then pulls out a check book realizing that they don't take them and then has to dig out their credit card which is first denied and then they pull out another when and it finally goes through after a call to the bank. Not that that's happened to me.

I'll leave you with this headline followed by an article.

Jimmy Aquino Rapes Baby Goats For Fun

Well known blogger, podcaster, bartender, overall deity on earth, Jimmy Aquino, took to Coney Island this weekend for his annual charity event. He engaged the local chess club, known as The Baby Goats, in matches for charity and completely schooled them! Much fun was had by all!

See? It's that easy. Look for my new weekly columns with Star Magazine starting at the 1st of Neverember.

The Emmy Highlights

Conan O'Brien hosted the 58th annual yawn fest known as The Emmys. I literally fast forwarded through most of it. After all, I had the awesome season finale's of Deadwood and Entourage to watch! (Both rocked!)

Conan had a great intro and did his best to keep it light and funny. Not easy to do. This show gets more and more crappy each year. First, half of the great shows were snubbed. Like Lost. Funny bit in the intro with Jorge Garcia.

The first hour of red carpet entrances is annoying. At least they had the sense to take that freak Joan Rivers off of a main network. Instead, we get Nancy O'Dell and Billy Bush. Nancy is hot, so she's okay. Billy? What an ass.

Jeremy Piven, well deserved eventual winner for Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, put him in his place when on the carpet. Billy was trying to be funny by asking Jeremy about celebrity baby sightings. Jeremy said, "Wow. Really? You need another job." Then, Billy asked what Jeremy's Entourage character, Ari, would do if he represented Tom Cruise in the recent split from Paramount Pictures. Jeremy responded,"You're asking me a question about what a character I play would do in real life?" Wonder where Bush gets his brilliance from? Notice that last name? Yeah...he's related to our current President.

Not many highlights. The Bob Newhart in a glass case was funny. Some undeserved wins. Some well deserved wins. Like Helen Mirren for Best Actress in a Mini-series or Movie for her titular portrayal in HBO's Elizabeth I. It also when best Mini-series/movie. And Jeremy Irons won for supporting actor. I've talked about this movie before. It's that good. I believe it's out on DVD now. Get it. You'll thank me later.

One of the best moments came in a tribute to the late Aaron Spelling. The reunited original Charlie's Angels came out on stage! Kate Jackson did most of the talking. Good idea not to let crazy Farah Fawcett talk. Though, why not Jaclyn Smith? They all got to say a piece. And, I gotta say, Jaclyn looked amazing. She was always my favorite. Sure, I had the famous Farah swimsuit poster, but Jaclyn was my angel. Funny how they always put Kate in pants. Huh. Wonder what that means?

The "In Memoriam" part of the show had some biggies. Red Buttons, Al Lewis, Richard Pryor, Don Knotts,etc. But, good old Pat Morita was in there as well. Sure, we all know him as Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid movies. Lest we forget, he was "Arnold" on Happy Days!Yes, I'm old.

Go find a list of winners somewhere else. It's too boring to go over here. And, I've already spent too much time on it. To the producers of The Emmys, let's spice it up next year! I mean, come on! Barry Manilow was your only musical performance and then you award him an Emmy for Outstanding Musical/Variety something or other? Wow.

Next year, I want the stars of the best show on earth to host. Or should I say, hostess. That's right. The Girls Next Door themselves. Holly, Bridget and Kendra. They can have The Emmys at the Playboy Mansion! And, the 1 season wonders of my other favorite reality show, Rollergirls, can be presenters. Which would help speed up the process! I smell big Nielsen ratings!

See you next year at the mansion!

The Emmys

The Emmys are tonight. Does anyone care? I'm gonna record them and fast forward through most of it when I get home later. Hopefully, there'll be a moment or 2 of comedy. Or some memorable performance. Though, with all of the snubs from the holier than though committee, I kind of just don't care.

And someone please...get that Frankenstein monster that is Joan Rivers off of the red carpet!

Dave & Buster's

If ya don't know, now ya know. Dave & Buster's is the adult Chuck E. Cheese. Except there's no annoying giant rat running around and no pizza. At least I think there's no pizza. But, there's video games! Yes, I'm 12. I love video games still. Most of my friends don't want to go here. They just opened up one of these joints in Times Square. Which I'm heading to right now. My friend, Kristin, came in from PA to celebrate her birthday. When asked what she wanted to do, that is...after half jokingly suggesting D & B's...she said, "HELL'S YEAH!"

Gotta run. If you need me, I'll be knee deep in Donkey Kong, Jr., Time Crisis, and Skee Ball.

Don't hate, bitches. You know you want to be me. Oh, so very much.

America's Drunkest City

According to a recent Forbes Magazine article, Milwaukee has been voted America's Drunkest City. I take great umbrage to this! Look at us over there! Drunk! As a New Yorker, and a drunk one at that, how the hell did we not even make the Top 10? Or the Top 20? What's that? NOT EVEN THE TOP 30? Yeah, that's right. We were ranked 32. Forbes used some stupid scientificky methodology of ranking. Each city was ranked in five areas: state laws, number of drinkers, number of heavy drinkers, number of binge drinkers and alcoholism. Okay, you meticulous number crunchers of Forbes. Just because it looks one way on paper doesn't mean that's how it really is in real life. Hell, Communism works great on paper. But, we all see how that worked out.

New York is one of the few cities that closes bars down at 4 a.m. Add the after hours to that and I got your number crunching right here! Come out drinking with me and my peoples one night, Forbes. Let's see how well your statistics and pie charts and graphs work. I'll make you NYC's drunken bitch!

Besides. Things like this always happen to me when I'm out drinking. Top that Milwaukee!

San Francisco Bound!

I booked my flight for San Francisco! I'm going in a month. Gonna stay about a week. Got some things planned, but I've never been. So, I'm calling out to all of you. What should I do?

Send me some info and ideas! And while you're at it, send some money. I ain't rich, biatch!

CNI 51

Comic News Insider: Episode 51 will be available for free download by 9 a.m. Click on the link or go to iTunes to get it! It's our special 51st episode. Why special? Because it's right after the big 50th episode! What? 51 can't be special? Don't be racist!

We start off with reviews of a few #1's. Garth Ennis/Darick Robertson's The Boys #1. An ultra-violent adult anti-superhero squad with bad language and a worse attitude. DC revamps an old character completely with Deadman #1. Marvel has a bit of fun with 2 established characters in Claws #1. And we'd be remiss if we didn't mention 52 #15. Why? Because Booster Gold dies. Oh, shut it. I didn't spoil it for you. It's given away on the cover and really....who cares? Besides his best bud, Blue Beetle. Oh wait...DC killed that character off recently too.

As always, we cover more news than the actual news does. Except ours is comic book related. Coverage includes: the huge Civil War late controversy at Marvel, Marvel's reversal of it's policy on gay/lesbian characters, Spider-Man comic reprints inserted in newspapers, Lone Ranger #1 variant cover, Thundercats cartoon relaunch, etc.

Movie news includes bits about Fantastic 4:Rise of the Silver Surfer, Halo, Batman 2, Hulk 2, Transformers and Wanted.

We finish off the last of our San Diego Comic-Con interviews with Antony Johnston, writer on Wasteland. What's that you say? Some of you were expecting Ed Brubaker. I know. Apologies for that, but there was a mix up in our schedules and we are going to have to do it at a later date. Fret not! We'll get him.

More listener feedback congratulating us on our 50th episode last week. And as per usual, end with the Top 3!

Get a hold of us!

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212 501 6246

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Thanks for listening!

Sunglasses Indoors

I get it. You honestly think you look cool when you are wearing sunglasses indoors. Guess what? You're the only one who thinks that. You're not a celebrity. Nothing like Angelina Jolie over there. Celebs are trying to mask their look and hide from the prying paparazzi. No one thinks you are someone. Well, they think you are someone who is a tool. No one's even trying to get a picture of you on their phone to put on their MySpace. Unless they want to emphasize what an idiot you are. And no, not even the colored ones are okay. Sure, they are lighter and fashionable,but still...you look stupid. Seriously, I'm trying to help here. Don't do it. I went through that stage once. I really thought I looked cool wearing sunglasses inside. Of course, I was 12.

If you're suffering from blindness or have light sensitivity, then you are exempt. If your suffering from idiocy, low self esteem, and a higher sense of self worth, then you are not. Take them off! 

This goes for sunglasses at night too.

Thanks a lot for that one, Corey Hart. You're an asshole.