Things Heard At Comic-Con

Still sucking from the teat that is Comic-Con. She's a big ass cow with a crap load of milk, so gimme a break! I heard a lot of crazy stuff last weekend. Here are some examples.

• "Normally, it's $10, but for you...let's make it $5." (An exhibitor to every other customer.)
• "I thought Brett Butler was old." (Mistaken fan at autograph signing for Blair Butler of G4's Attack of the Show.)
• "Hey! Aren't you organizing a trip to a strip club?" (Several people coming up to me wanting to see naked ladies. Seriously, I have no idea how the rumor started!)
• "Is there anyone else in the room?" (Security guard breaking up party in room speaking to friend as the rest of us hid like our parents had just gotten home.)
• "Is there anyone else in the room?" (Me to front desk clerk at ghetto hotel when I opened door and it smelled and looked lived in.)
• "Wow. He's pretty big in person." (Fan stating the obvious about Jorge Garcia who plays "Hurley" on Lost.)
• "I think Stan Lee has hair plugs." (Fan noticing Stan the Man's perfectly coiffed hair.)
• "I am really being handled today." ("Lemuria" from Who Wants to be a Superhero commenting on her busy schedule.)
• "It's a foot massager from my agent!" (Kristen Bell, title character from Veronica Mars, commenting on package delivered to her old apartment that fan now lives in and brought with him to the panel.)
• "Kevin Smith is stuck in traffic." (Comic-Con administrator disappointing crowd, including me, waiting for Smith to arrive.)
• "I love Dicks!" (Comment to artist, John McCrea, about his creator owned book about bumbling private detectives called Dicks.)
• "So, what do you do?" (Fat comic book person trying to hit on a girl who is clearly "working.")
• "She's got a boyfriend? Damn it!" (Disappointed and clearly delusional fan of Rosario Dawson who apparently thought he had a chance with her.)
• "Who wants a picture of a 50 year old pussy?" (Man walking by 40 something former Playboy Playmate's table.)
• "Seth Green is an asshole." (Another fan who feels like all celebrities should stop and chat with them after Seth Green rushed past him.)
• "You're friends with Cassaday, right?" (Just about every fanboy and girl at the con. Usually followed up by asking me to get him to sign or draw something.)
• "I got the idea from someone else, but I invented the drink." (Hotel bartender explaining his "original" drink recipe.)
• "Please don't touch me there." (Booth babe removing man's hand from around her waist during photograph.)
• "Don't hug kids when they cry. It makes them gay." (Me doling out parental advice when witnessing mother consoling crying kid.)
• "We are fucked up!" (Drinking companion noticing many of us bobbing and weaving as we walked down the street.)
• "One more picture. That's it!" (Frustrated people dressed up as Klingons from Star Trek. Uh...why else did you dress up? To blend in?)
• "I'm with that gentleman. Please remove your arm, Indy." (Female friend with me to guy dressed as Indiana Jones who had put his arm between us when my back was turned.)
• "YOU CALL HIM DR. JONES, DOLL!" (His little Asian side kick to my friend. Okay, I made that one up!)
• "My tights are all up my ass." (Guy dressed as Spider-Man.)
• "His tights are all up his ass!" (Person noticing guy dressed as Spider-Man.)
• "$5 for a hot dog? That better be a magic hot dog!" (Person in line complaining over price of food.)
• "What's your blood type?" (Blood bank representative at blood donation table.)
• "Currently? Bourbon positive." (My reply.)
• "Holy shit! That's John Cassaday!" (Group of aspiring writers/artists at their booth who promptly invited us over for shots.)
• "I haven't heard of any of these people." (David Eick, producer on Battlestar Galactica, looking at the names of past interviews we had on Comic News Insider.)
• "Let's roll him into the elevator and write cunt with a "k" on his forehead!" (McCrea to party goers about passed out person in friend's room.)
• "Do it and I'll kill you." (Passed out person responding without opening his eyes.)
• "I think we could roll up one of Kyle Baker's dreads, light it and get high as a motherfucker!" (Person next to Baker noticing the ganja like odor of his locks.)

Yes. Much more. I just can't remember any. If I do, and you're lucky...then maybe I'll post more. Though I've a feeling I posted way too many already. Enjoy.

Bitches.

Comments

[ZiggyNJ]

Someone spoke ill of my Seth Green!?!?!?! I would have kicked him in the nads!

[mike.]

I once rode on a bus with Seth Green (M72 cross-town, we both got on at 1st Ave, I got off at Central Park West, he continued on), and yes, he was (sort of) an asshole.