Wonder Woman came into my bar recently and was a little drunk. We're pretty good friends so I was surprised she would come by in that state. We're not a dive bar and don't encourage people to get inebriated. For the most part, she kept her Amazonian self in check. Though she kept reaching over trying to either: 1) smack me in the head. 2) kiss me on the lips. or 3) smack me in the head while kissing me on the lips.
At one point she actually threw some of her food at me. Sure, it was just a piece of corn, but still. Great Hera would have been ashamed. I sternly said, "Not cool, Princess." She drunkenly giggled. And then did it again, so I yelled at her. "Wonder Woman! STOP IT!" Again with the giggles, but at least she stopped.
Do I have to lay down the bar rules again for you superhero friends of mine? The main one: Don't come in drunk! You should have seen how long it took me to get Tony Stark aka Iron Man to stop swinging in to say hi. Go to a meeting, you drunken tin can! 
Moral of the story: Respect me as your non-superhero bartender friend and don't come in drunk off your ass. I'm tired of cleaning up and rebuilding the bar after you lose control of your super strength or repulsor rays or whatever.
Batman would never do such a thing. Robin's another story, but Batman is cool like that. Just saying.
Hey, sometimes a girl's gotta let loose, y'know? I'm sure Hera would understand ... you think she DOESN'T drink, married to that jerkwad?? ;)
Posted by: Monica | October 18, 2008 at 10:23 AM
nice, monica!
im sure you figured it out. that i was using this as a metaphor for actual friends who DID come in drunk. the fuckers. :)
Posted by: jimmy | October 21, 2008 at 09:47 AM