1. Go see the new animated feature, 9, like I am. I might even see it at 9pm.
2. Start out at Bar Nine on 9th avenue with drinks. I once saw Billy Zane there. Though I'm betting Billy Barty would be cooler.
3. Have a Magic Hat #9. Tasty apricot, dry, crisp ale. Drink responsibly. Or get wasted. What do I care?
4. Play a game of 9 Ball but make sure you know the rules. After you hit someone in the head with the ball, it's the next person's turn. Don't cheat!
5. Throw some Nine Inch Nails on the jukebox while you're there. And then discuss what a d-bag Trent Reznor is but how he's so innovative online.
6. Or stay home and listen to the soundtrack to the musical Nine. It can prep you for the upcoming film version in a couple of months. Just realize you sound nothing like the professional singers as you warble along. Better yet, just keep it shut when listening.
7. Experiment with your significant other and use a cat o'nine tails. Remind me to tell you of my experiences. Another time. Remember: There's a fine line between pleasure and pain....WALK IT!
8. Give Morris some love and feed your cat some 9 Lives. Or if you're poor, feed yourself. Or throw your cat across the room to see if the rumors are true. (Settle down PETA, just kidding.)
9. Fuck that noise and bang some Tech N9ne all night long with your bitches while drinking 40's and smokin' blunts.
Or you know...just come see 9 with me.
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