A friend posted recently how she misses the fact that people don’t hug any more. And she’s right. I am an affectionate person. Or at least I used to be. Actor types tend to be very touch/feely. Not in a creepy way. (Well, some are a bit creepy). Just very loving. When I did shows, the casts were all over each other constantly. It was purely innocent and fun. Though I am not an actor type any more, I still have that same feeling. Unfortunately, I am not around people who feel the same way. I spend a lot of time at work, obviously, and several people there just aren’t into it. I totally respect that. And some social circles I travel in aren’t as female heavy. Not that I’m against hugging another dude. I do it with many of my male friends. But it’s more often a female friend who shuns the love.
Some make you feel like, “Oh, it’s just fatty wanted to cop a feel”. Actually, no. It’s scientifically/medically proven that a good hug from someone you like (in a platonic way) can make you feel better. If someone is wounded from their past and the touch of another is forbidden, then I suppose I understand. It’s the cold and icy folks who clearly have some issues deep down. Not hating on them but just feel sorry.
While we’re on hugs, I’ll briefly cover the kiss too. I’m also a kisser type. There are friends I kiss on the lips and some on the cheek. But if you’re one of those air kiss types, just stop. It’s really annoying and is just subterfuge and pure theater. What’s the sense? I get that kisses are more intimate than a hug, so no big deal if someone doesn’t want to do it.
On the “air kiss” note…a tepid hug is just as stupid. When you barely hug back or just pat someone on the back, why bother? I’d rather not even do it.
Back to the hugs. Most of you need to get over it. I’m not trying to paw on you or get some cheap thrill out of it. Yes, I make lecherous jokes on occasion but I’m very respectful when it comes to someone’s “space”. Often, I overcompensate with friends who are “anit-huggers” by completely not touching them. Not even a handshake for fear they may get offended. Which is bullshit.
All I’m saying is give it a shot. If someone always expects one and is a bit “handsy, then don’t do it with them. If others see you hugging someone but you don’t hug them, well maybe they don’t deserve it. That’s okay too. You don’t owe anyone anything, of course. But maybe try hugging your friend every once in awhile. You might find it makes YOU feel better too.
Now come here, ya big lug! BEAR HUG!!!
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