Oh Regency

As you know, I was visiting my hometown of Jacksonville, Florida last week. I told some friends that I was going to hit the old mall, Regency Square, to check it out. 2 of them replied with, "Don't forget your kevlar." Apparently, it's fallen on bad times and even had a shooting or 2 happen there. Sure enough, half the mall was desolate with only a few stores open on one side. The other side was busier but no major companys besides Dillards was there. (i.e. No Gap, Old Navy, Hot Topic, etc.). It was a little sad as that was where I had one of my first real jobs in a men's clothing store during the bustling years. Some super rambly and long highlights/memories:

• Being a busy mall, we'd get shoplifters. And because I was a young buck full of vigor, I often chased a few out of the store and even caught some. Not thinking they could have a gun or anything. I was invincible! Once, I chased a couple of guys out to the parking lot (a few others from the mall joined in my pursuit) but they got away as a car was waiting. So close! But also so stupid. As everyone else told me later. #OhYouth
• There was a restaurant called East Side Mario's that became our after work hang out. They had a DJ and dance floor after 9 each night and we'd hang there til the wee hours. I think I went out with both a manager, a waitress and a DJ. #OhYouth
• In my early dating years, I thought it noble (like an idiot) to tell girls upfront when we went out the following. "I like you and you like me. Cool. But I don't want anything serious. So I'm going to date around and feel free to do the same. Let's just not bring other dates in front of each other out of respect." To my then pleasure and my now confusion, the girls always said it was cool. One time I was casually seeing 3 different girls at the same time who all worked at the mall. "Rachel" was super casual and actually knew about the others and didn't care. She worked at the west end of the mall. "Eve" was pretty casual too but perhaps wanted a bit more. She worked at the east end of the mall. "Betty" was definitely wanting something serious and worked in the center of the mall near my store. You're probably ahead of me already. Yup. They all came in at the same time. Well, Rachel was in first and saw Eve come in so let me go talk to her at the counter as she pretended to shop. As I was chatting with Eve, in comes Betty. Awkward. I chatted to her at the other end of the counter. And at one point panicked as I didn't want to introduce them or have them really notice each other too much so I said quickly, "Uh...great to see you guys but I gotta get in the back room and work on some stock." As I walked back, Rachel laughed at me and said she'd see me later. Phew! A close one. Rachel and I remained friends even after our brief fling, Eve and I stopped talking and I can't remember why and Betty and I ended up dating for over a year (but it ended badly...my fault). #OhYouth 
• I did some "modeling" gigs there. First was some in our own store window where me and one of the girls dressed up and stayed still. We totally fooled people! However, not being a model, I didn't understand that I should move every few minutes to keep the bones/muscles from tightening. Sure enough, after 20-30 minutes of being absolutely still, I tried to step and ate it big time. Needless to say, the crowd walking by found it hilarious. We made some good sales that day! My other modeling gig was actually at the main stage of the mall. A company would showcase about 10 different stores every few months and have their clothes modeled. I was asked by the powers that be. It was silly and ridiculous as I was working with real models and had no idea what I was doing. I do remember doing some random dumb dance with a pair of beautiful sisters. But the clothes I had to wear...yikes! Wish I had pictures from that. You would LOL big time. #OhModels
• I had hair down to my butt for 20 years. After Dances With Wolves came out, everyone assumed I was Native American. I got tired of denying it and explaining my ethnicity so just started to tell people that I was Cherokee or Sioux. One day at the food court during a day shift, I went to McDonald's. Day shift was the old people shift. One sweet old lady cashier asked me very excitedly, "Ooh, are you an Indian?" I said, "Yes". She went on, "What tribe?". I told her, "Sioux." As she goes to get my food, I can see she was really thinking about it. She hands me my food and as I grab the bag, she puts her hand on mine and said, "I just want you to know that I think the white man did a great injustice to your people." I stymied a laugh and said, "Thank you." I know she meant well but damn that shit was funny. #OhOldPeople
• I was walking down the mall to another store one day and some holy roller stopped me and said, "You should cut your hair. It's not Christian to have long hair" or some stupid shit like that. To which I replied, "Huh. Jesus had long hair so I guess I'm more Christian than you are!" #OhChristians
• Probably my best memory was the Christmas show I put on for a few years. I got suggested by a friend to run it after her company became too busy. I was running a children's theater at the time so I guess she thought I'd be okay. It was a bit overwhelming at first but once I got the hang of it, I think it turned out great. And boy did I get PAID! Basic idea was that we were putting on a show to welcome Santa into the mall. My concept (and don't steal it!) was that a loving couple (played by me and my friend Shirley) were up on stage and I was trying to figure out what to get her. I had the chorus from the local school of the arts sing "12 Days of Christmas" verses. After each one, they'd pause and I'd bring out the present. The idea was that I realized each present wasn't exactly what she wanted so I'd have to bring out my final one (Santa) to help me with it. It went a little something like this: 

1. A partridge in a pear tree: I brought out a mini tree with a fake partridge on it.
2. 2 turtle doves: I brought out 2 doves in a cage. (I rented all the birds from somewhere.)
3. 3 french hens: hens in a cage
4. 4 calling birds: 4 random birds in a cage. 
5. 5 golden rings: I hired my friend Ray to juggle 5 large golden colored rings. 
6. 6 geese-a-laying: I rolled out a giant wooden cage full of geese. They were LOUD! 
7. 7 swans-a-swimming: Had my choreographer friend Michelle choreograph school of the arts ballerinas. They did a short bit of Swan Lake as the music played over the speakers. 
8. 8 maids-a-milking: Again, more dancers in milkmaid outfits doing a little dance. 
9. 9 ladies dancing: Another dance number. This time a can-can! 
10. 10 lords-a-leaping: Got 10 boys from another school I worked with to come dressed as "lords" and leapfrog over each other. 
11. 11 pipers piping: You guessed it. 11 flautists from the school of the arts came out playing. 
12. 12 drummers drumming: 12 drummers going an awesome drum bit. 

At the end of it all, I eventually brought out Santa and my "wife" was happy and all the kids in the audience screamed and Santa took his place on his throne. Super fun and silly and very successful. Boy did they overpay the shit out of me. #OhGeese

Ah well, those Regency Square memories. I'll miss you most of all Orange Tree.